PullusPardus on 04 August 2014
| SvennoJ said: It's not bad, you could use a grammar and spell checker though and decide on what tense to use. It's distracting when you switch from present to past tense even within the same sentence. I like the setting, but the panicky driver is a bit overdone. It's better to describe his reactions, hands slightly shaking, sweating etc and leave the direct nervous / panic descriptions out. A bit less words wouldn't hurt. An childhood chapter could work, great place to explain how the world came to be that way and explore the setting. After you write that I would suggest rewriting the prologue. And read lots of sci-fi! I'm going to read some more of Bowl of Heaven now, excellent book. That's the kind of sci-fi I like most. |
can you tell me which parts contain the grammar errors? , also can you give an example on how his descriptions should be? If you don't mind.
I am reading Revelations Space because it was suggested here, what kind of Scifi is Bowl of Heaven? from the name (and author ) I'm guessing its a lot like Ringworld
