I never played a Zelda game in my life.

[ToxicJosh]

Buy a Wii U.

That gives you access to Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword and Wind Waker HD on disc.

Then all the NES, SNES and N64 ones on VC (you'll need to go into Wii mode for some).

Your DS and 3DS give you access to the rest.