I've already posted this, but seeing as I'm now Iwata it's not a repost.
10 point plan:
0. As Iwata, I change the rules. Dropping the Wii U and going third party are back on the table. Please understand.
1. Cease all Wii U manufacturing and software development immediately. Stop pumping any more money into this dying machine.
2. Follow up with an immediate Nintendo Direct. Apologise profusely and ask everyone to please understand. 20 free Virtual Console games for all Wii U owners to be made available immediately, with only 1 day to download them before Wii U servers are permanently shut-down.
3. Begin porting over all current Wii U games to Xbox One, PS4, and iOS for some quick cash.
4. Begin development on SuperWiiCube 64 immediately. The first 9th Gen console. To significantly reduce development time to one night, all components will be off-the-shelf. Top of the line components only, to compete with PC (the real next-gen), and a pricing point of only $100.
5. Heavily bribe Third-Party devs to either develop solely for the SuperWiiCube 64, or to at least give timed exclusives.
6. Release the entire retro Nintendo library on iOS to recoup funds (which will be hemorrhaging heavily by now). Maintain a heavy focus on F2P entry with microtransactions for lives and bonuses.
7. During the entire 10 months until the SuperWiiCube 64 release, heavily market the opposition as baby's toys. Compare graphics to "true next-gen" mock-ups using supercomputers. Show off upcoming ultra-violent games, with advanced swearing capabilities and over 10,000 new shades of gritty brown.
8. Release the SuperWiiCube 64 to full fanfare. Pay off celebrities to denounce the opposition and show full allegiance to Nintendo. Hold rock concerts and extremely VIP-only parties in Nintendo's honour. Guests will be served custom Nintendo-branded liquor, which retails at $750 per bottle.
9. Pump out 1 exclusive title per week for the next 5 years like clockwork with continuous propaganda-like advertising all-throughout. They will all learn to love Big Brother. No game shall fall behind on this schedule and will be released regardless of position in development cycle. Patches will be dispensed as necessary, and will be guised as DLC where possible.
10. Announce the SuperWiiCube 128 and denounce the SuperWiiCube 64 as last gen crap.
