In case you've been determined to read this far into the thread and haven't figured it out yet:
I was being facetious. This was my response to the common "Nintendo should go 3rd party on account of the Wii U's poor sales" topic. I hoped that by switching perspective to the handheld front and targeting the Vita, people would laugh and say "Okay, the Nintendoom is a bit silly from that point of view."
Hopefully at least somebody got something from all this.
On the bright side... look everybody! I made another popular thread!
Love and tolerate.