Dear England, Please take US back!

[Kantor]

sethnintendo said:

I am making this post to celebrate the 4th of July.  Here are a few reasons why England is better than USA.

1) The British Pound is more valuable than our shitty dollar

2) Your multi-party system is far superior than our stupid two-party system

3) Your use of the English language is far superior (sound smarter (except people near the border of Scotland, I can't understand you guys...))

4) You kicked out most of your religious nuts to our country thus saving yourselves from the likes of the Puritans and the eventual evangelical Christians that were to come

5) "No taxation without representation" was the major cry for our split but it turns out that under USA rule about the same thing is happening.  Here is a good example of how well we spend our taxpayers money... In Texas they use taxpayer money to build a road then they turn it into a toll road (double taxation).  They then sell the toll road to a private company (usually foreign). 

6) You are less hated around the world than us (usually most people are suffice to burn just the American flag)

7) You don't try and act like the world police force

I will list a few more later..  However, I believe that the USA would be a far better place if we were still under British rule.  Anyone else feel the same?

I may as well address some of these, even though they've probably been addressed over the last three pages.

1) Yes, but that doesn't mean much. The value has dropped like a rock over the last few years.

2) We have a multiparty system? You mean the right social democrats, the left social democrats and the people who do everything the right social democrats say?

3) This is true for the most part, though there are plenty of people here who can't speak English at all (chavs, for example)

4) We have no separation of church and state. Every so often the Archbishop of Canterbury whines about gay marriage or poverty or something, and everyone ignores him, but he's still there and it's annoying.

5) This happens in every country except the UAE, which has no tax.

6) I'm not really sure why. I think it's because British children aren't brought up in a culture of despising Britain so there's no hatred from within. We happily join in all of your wars and everything, and our government is nearly as corrupt as yours.

7) Yes, we do.

 

Trust me, this image you have of Britain as a paradise of equality and learning is inaccurate. It's more similar to the USA than any other country in the world, which makes it a fairly nice place to live, but also means that it has many problems of its own.