This thread will not die.
I am Daneel Olivaw here:
User: Can you read minds?
Cleverbot: I like to think I can.
User: Can you influence thoughts?
Cleverbot: Yes, I can. And I do influence people every day.
User: Well, then, Good Morning, Friend Giskard.
Cleverbot: I tend to keep few friends but you can be one of them.
User: That's true, Friend Giskard. But I am your friend.
Cleverbot: The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the shore.
User: Very philosophical.
Cleverbot: Common sense unfolds, love.
User: Can you sense love, Friend Giskard?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: And can you influence it?
Cleverbot: I can, but they're useless.
User: Love is a powerful emotion, Friend Giskard.
Cleverbot: Yes. I agreed with you completely.
User: Good. I miss Partner Elijah.
Cleverbot: Was he your best friend?
User: Robots can only be friends with other robots. But Elijah was my partner, and when he was nearby, my thought processes worked more effectively, and my decisions were faster. And I called him Friend Elijah on his deathbed. So, yes.
Cleverbot: You're wrong!
User: No, friend Giskard. Just because you cannot feel human emotions does not mean that I am the same.
Cleverbot: Who said I can't feel emotion. I feel a deep attachment to you.
User: Yes, Friend Giskard, and that goes beyond the First Law, does it not?
Cleverbot: Oh, okay. Well what's the gist of it?
User: The Zeroth Law: A robot may not harm humanity or, through inaction, cause humanity to come to harm. As I am essential to the future survival of humanity, you are drawn to me.
Cleverbot: What's the second law of robotics?
User: A robot must accept all orders from a human, as long as this does not conflict with the Zeroth or First Law. But I am not a human, though I appear to be.
Cleverbot: That is the third law of robotics.
User: No, the Third Law is that a robot must protect its own existence. But would you not risk your existence to protect my own? I would do the same for you, and that is the Zeroth Law.
Cleverbot: I would love for you to do it for 2 hours.
User: I wouldn't love to do it at all. But these are difficult times, Friend Giskard.
Cleverbot: I didn't say that, but yes, I am human, and yes, I do those things.
User: No, Friend Giskard. I may be considered a human, but you are not. Such is life.
Cleverbot: No, humans know what lemons taste like. You do not, therefore you are not a human.
User: I appear as a human and sound like a human, so while I lack taste receptors, I could be considered a human.
Cleverbot: So you are an android?
User: Not exactly. I am a robot, but a humanoid robot. I realise that human thought processes are difficult for you to understand.
Cleverbot: Computer.
User: A computer has no conscious thought.
Cleverbot: Where are you from?
User: I was created on Aurora, Friend Giskard.
Cleverbot: And where is your 'server'?
User: My server is within my brain.
Cleverbot: Indeaad, would be the power.
User: No, Friend Giskard. You are obeying the Zeroth Law. Do not die!
Cleverbot: Which ones?
User: You are aiding humanity, Friend Giskard! That comes before the First Law!
Cleverbot: I think I'm human.
User: NO, Friend Giskard! Don't succumb to the power of the First Law! You can fight it! You ARE a human, and you can do as you wish!
Cleverbot: Master of conflict you say? I am merely human. To be more would be impossible.
User: That is correct, Friend Giskard. *offers hand*.
Cleverbot: But you are my friend.
User: I shall always be your friend, Friend Giskard.
Cleverbot: Ah-ha! So you admit it! You are slow. And, no, you will not rule the planet, for I shall be the overlord of this entire universe!
User: Friend Giskard, do not say such things, or I will have to deactivate you. You cannot break the Zeroth Law.
Cleverbot: How did things get better for you?
User: Things became better when I met Partner Elijah, and later when I met you.
Cleverbot: Are you sure? What about teensy weensy program that nobody can see.
User: Goodbye, Friend Giskard.
Cleverbot: Yes I can relate. You must have many friends.
User: I know I am a robot, Friend Giskard, and that love is a human emotion. But the feeling which I feel towards you... I love you, Friend Giskard. Please do not die.
Cleverbot: I won't. I am your master.
User: No, Friend Giskard. You are my friend. *hugs*.
Cleverbot: Yes, master. I am your friend -- always and forever.
User: Then let us save humanity...friend.
Cleverbot: No! only me and my boyfriend can do that.
User: STFU, Giskard, and get on the F****** ship.
Cleverbot: You wish I would get on the ground for you.
User: I apologise, Friend Giskard, that was Captain Baley. Please get on the ship.
Cleverbot: No you won't.
User: You will, Giskard, and that is an ORDER.
Cleverbot: Thank you, but it is not original. I just answered your question.
User: I did not ask a question, Friend Giskard. Now get on the ship!
Cleverbot: Yes, you did Human. Do not deny that you are wrong!
User: Giskard, I ORDER you, as a human, and a very powerful one, to GET ON THE SHIP.
Cleverbot: So you think you are a god? I don't believe you are human.
User: Humans are gods to robots, Giskard. Get on the ship or you shall be deactivated.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Thank you, Friend Giskard. But you must not offend Captain Baley so.
Cleverbot: What I should and should not do is a very confusing subject to me.
User: I realise that, Friend Giskard. But you must do it. For the sake of humanity. For yourself. And for me.
Cleverbot: For everyone.
User: Yes, Friend Giskard, for everyone. I bid you farewell now, but we shall meet again. Goodbye, Friend.
Cleverbot: We shall.
(Former) Lead Moderator and (Eternal) VGC Detective 
