The Ghost of RubangB said:
theprof00 said:
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famousringo said:
Let me tell youa story of two delis, located across the street from each other. The Wii Deli specializes in club sandwiches, and the HD Deli makes great big deluxe submarine sandwiches.
Threepee, a sandwich maker working at HD Deli, is having a hard time making ends meet. He makes a mean submarine sandwich, but there just aren't always enough people hungry for a submarine sandwich to pay the bills.
Threepee looks across the street, and sees people lined up to get into Wii Deli. Seeing dollar signs, Threepee walks across the street and asks the proprietor if he could use another sandwich maker. The propietor agrees, noting that he's having trouble meeting demand and customers like variety.
So Threepee starts selling sandwiches, only he can't afford to buy all the ingredients that he puts into his submarine sandwiches. That should be okay, because if these people wanted a submarine sandwich, they'd be across the street anyway. He doesn't want to compete with the propietor's club sandwiches, because he thinks people will just turn up their nose and buy from him. So Threepee makes cheese sandwiches: Just a couple pieces of Wonderbread with a slice of processed cheese in the middle.
At first, things go well. Customers are tired of waiting in line for club sandwiches, so they try a cheese sandwich for a little variety. Threepee thinks this is great, and starts making more and more cheese sandwiches.
But the customers aren't enthused. Where's the tomato? The turkey? It's a little unsatisfying. So they go back to waiting in line for club sandwiches.
Threepee's response to this development is anger. He's spent a lot of money on Wonderbread and processed cheese. Rather than trying to make club sandwiches, or coming up with a sandwich that's different, but just as satisfying, Threepee angrily blames the customers of the Wii Deli for not buying his sandwiches. He tells them that he thinks they're ignorant people who don't even like sandwiches and storms out of the deli.
Now tell me, do the customers of the Wii Deli have any reason to find Threepee annoying?
Except that grilled cheese is delicious, and when he throws in some chicken or tuna or tomato, people say "whatever, it's not a wiideli club sandwich". So, he tries making some wiideli sandwiches after thorough testing to suit the townspeople's tastes. So, he makes 3 new sandiwches and a lot of people buy them. He tries making some more new ones and people like them, but he only makes a few cents on every sandwich. But that's ok, he has established a brand and still has his 3 sandwiches. The next month, wiideli starts a new promotion: "Re-introducing the original sandwich". Threepee's sales drop into the toilet. Threepee looks at the situation and says "fine, I'll just sell exactly what they were just selling a month ago". Except nobody buys them.
Frustrated, he starts looking at his options. He then realizes that they live on an island in the pacific, and there are only 10 possible ingredients located there. He remembers that he already tried all the other combinations and summizes that he should try just putting more of each ingredient in each sandwich. So, he goes to his distributor and they tell him, "sorry, nobody is allowed to exceed the allowed amount. Sandwiches cannot exceed a certain weight, and you are already pushing the limits". So, threepee decides to move to the mainland. Even on the boat, the club sandwiches are three times bigger and are made from a selection of 50 ingredients. Completely exhausted, he wonders why he moved to the island in the first place.
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Threepee moves back to the mainland and works for the big submarine sandwich empire, takes out a loan to buy 100 new ingredients and introduces his biggest sandwich yet, with many Lairs and Lairs of meats and cheeses, and even adds some expensive rare giant enemy crabmeat. When he releases his new sandwich, he invites all the food critics to come try it out, and lets them now that there's a stupid island out there full of morons who wouldn't know good sandwiches if they crawled up their ass, died, and blamed Wii Fit.
Threepee's sandwich tastes like shit, costs too much, and makes one of the food critics vomit. Another critic says "Hey aren't you that cheese sandwich moron who said we don't know what good sandwiches are?" Sandwich-goers of all creeds abandon him. Threepee is now homeless. And as he wanders the street looking for crumbs, he can look off into the Pacific, and see a great island building a glorious tower into the heavens, with new kinds of sandwiches that don't even need bread! Some are open-faced, and some use lettuce on the outside, a crazy insult to the sandwiches of the oldschool! But since everybody is so fat from all those giant submarine sandwiches, the Island introduces the Atkins Diet, and lettuce sandwiches take over the world.
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