lol, ok.
To back things up you either need DVD's or an external HDD. Then just either burn the files you want to save, or copy them to the HDD. You can get a "backup tool" but that isn't needed as you'll probably end up spending the same amount of time total either way. The only reason I'd suggest a backup tool is if you have either a ton of data that can be compressed (in other words not video, audio, or images) or if you back up regularly.
I'm assuming you have a standard tower PC.
As for the PC, first you want to turn off the PC. Generally there is a screw on the back and you slide the back panel off. Try not to touch anything on the inside, as I'm sure you don't have a ESD sensitive work area. Also, touch the case first before you start working and don't shuffle your feet around, or wear wool as you could fry the whole thing via static shock. As a FYI, you don't even have to feel anything to actually emit static shock and destroy electronics.
Anyways, Unplug the power cable from the PC and press the power button as we don't want to destroy anything and this should discharge the system. Then find the HDD, which should look like this.
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16822148413
anyways, unplug all the cables at the HDD and plug them back in (there are 2, 1 power, 1 coms), and then do the same at the other end of the coms cables which should connect to the mother board. This should be easy enough to distinguish from the power cable which heads back to the power brick at the top of the tower.
Close everything back up, plug in the power and hit the power button.








