Most Outrageous Malaprops

[Final-Fan]

• Main Entry: mal·a·prop·ism
• Pronunciation: \ˈma-lə-ˌprä-ˌpi-zəm\
• Function: noun
• Etymology: Mrs. Malaprop, character noted for her misuse of words in R. B. Sheridan's comedy The Rivals (1775)
• Date: 1849

1 : the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context
2 : malaprop

(A malaprop is an instance of malapropism.) 

I want to hear the craziest malaprops you have personally witnessed. 

My entry comes, surprisingly, from a D&D-style game.  (It's surprising because I've played about 2 in my life.) 

One of the characters meant to say (as he later explained) that he was going to "despoil" a body -- meaning about the same thing as "loot".  What he actually said was "defile" -- which means something, uh, worse.  And the GM refused to let him restate his intentions!  Thus, the next scene went something like, "As you're pulling up your pants, someone enters the room."