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Hyperion said:

I got Iris up to level 3, lol. I kept going to her almost every day...but one day I just got the event that opened the door. I don't know how I did it. Maybe I had some dream sequences :/ can't remember.
I'm in mid fall and still haven't met Black Iris, lol. In due time, in due time.

Black Iris gets triggered after an event; waiting around isn't going to get you anywhere, I'm afraid. Don't worry  though, you'll get her sooner rather than later.