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Locked: What to do when the girl you like just wants to be friends?

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Is Kapi a stupid bear?

Yes, very stupid 14 42.42%
 
A bit stupid 11 33.33%
 
No 8 24.24%
 
Total:33
mZuzek said:
gamingsoul said:

Totally agree

couldn’t Believe what I was reading, this guy has major seft steem issues no wonder the girl rejected him, the worst part of it is that most likely no quality women will fall for a guy with such low self worth.

It's called "not being a fucking dick".

Dude he only engaged this girl to get relations, no its not being a dickish move to say lets move out

Lets make it so he doesnt end up like @RolStoppable

Last edited by kirby007 - on 08 June 2019

 "I think people should define the word crap" - Kirby007

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kirby007 said:
mZuzek said:

It's called "not being a fucking dick".

Dude he only engaged this girl to get relations, no its not being a dickish move to say lets move out

Lets make it so he doesnt end up like @RolStoppable

What happened to Rol?



I LOVE ICELAND!

kirby007 said:
mZuzek said:

It's called "not being a fucking dick".

Dude he only engaged this girl to get relations, no its not being a dickish move to say lets move out

First, that's not true. Second,

The dude was talking about how "the guy has major self esteem issues" for allowing a girl that he likes to get what she wants, which is to be with someone else. I'm sorry to break it down to you, but girls aren't prizes there for the taking for men with high pride and self-esteem - they are actually people, as crazy as that might sound. To respect a woman's wishes isn't called having low self esteem, it's called being a decent person. Doing the opposite, is being a fucking dick. Period.



@Thread.

Always act with the assumption that you'll find another girl that you're even more into. So in this case, if she doesn't want you, it's no biggie, assume that you'll find someone you're even more compatible with.
That mindset will give you peace of mind in life and keep you from stressing out over things you cannot change.


Also, either the assumption will become true with time if you keep improving yourself, or you'll never find someone. But at least you'll have your honour intact and won't become like those pathetic broken people who say things like "I've learned that the only thing that matters is the inside".



I LOVE ICELAND!

Don't get friend-zoned

If you are interested in her there is no “just staying friends“ option if you meet private.

You are a guy who is interested in her, you can't just tell your brain/heart that this ends now and that you are just friends.

Only meet her when needed from now on



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mZuzek said:

First, that's not true. Second,

The dude was talking about how "the guy has major self esteem issues" for allowing a girl that he likes to get what she wants, which is to be with someone else. I'm sorry to break it down to you, but girls aren't prizes there for the taking for men with high pride and self-esteem - they are actually people, as crazy as that might sound. To respect a woman's wishes isn't called having low self esteem, it's called being a decent person. Doing the opposite, is being a fucking dick. Period.

I think you're misrepresenting what gamingsoul said, he didn't state that respecting a woman's wishes is having low esteem. He said OP has self esteem issues and I can see why somebody would think that just reading the thread. The girl he is interested in hasn't asked him to get her a boyfriend but he just decides he will do it anyway, that shows some strange things are going on in his head, he just confessed his feelings to her a couple of days ago and now instead of just respecting her wishes, he goes far beyond in some kind of fake altruism to show how super nice he is. That does suggest he has self worth issues since he has decided to put his own happiness on hold and possibly inflict misery on himself....just to do something she never asked for. He seems to still feel far too strongly for her to actually respect her original wishes to just be friends because he can't just be friends right now.

To be clear, I don't think there is anything abnormal about his actions, I think millions of us have been in this situation. I doubt anything we can say will change his decisions because, well we all know we've been there and we didn't listen to the advice we solicited. I do think it's fine to try pointing out the mistakes he might be making and if having low self worth is something he struggles with, then it will make relationships difficult as well as life in general. 



Move on or you can move on , you have other option. Move on.



 

Landale_Star said:
mZuzek said:

First, that's not true. Second,

The dude was talking about how "the guy has major self esteem issues" for allowing a girl that he likes to get what she wants, which is to be with someone else. I'm sorry to break it down to you, but girls aren't prizes there for the taking for men with high pride and self-esteem - they are actually people, as crazy as that might sound. To respect a woman's wishes isn't called having low self esteem, it's called being a decent person. Doing the opposite, is being a fucking dick. Period.

I think you're misrepresenting what gamingsoul said, he didn't state that respecting a woman's wishes is having low esteem. He said OP has self esteem issues and I can see why somebody would think that just reading the thread. The girl he is interested in hasn't asked him to get her a boyfriend but he just decides he will do it anyway, that shows some strange things are going on in his head, he just confessed his feelings to her a couple of days ago and now instead of just respecting her wishes, he goes far beyond in some kind of fake altruism to show how super nice he is. That does suggest he has self worth issues since he has decided to put his own happiness on hold and possibly inflict misery on himself....just to do something she never asked for. He seems to still feel far too strongly for her to actually respect her original wishes to just be friends because he can't just be friends right now.

To be clear, I don't think there is anything abnormal about his actions, I think millions of us have been in this situation. I doubt anything we can say will change his decisions because, well we all know we've been there and we didn't listen to the advice we solicited. I do think it's fine to try pointing out the mistakes he might be making and if having low self worth is something he struggles with, then it will make relationships difficult as well as life in general. 

Thanks couldn’t Have said it better.

sometimes you have to learn the hard way I know I did, but I wish someone had told me what I wrote maybe It could have made things easier for me. attraction is very natural you can tell when someone likes you almost after a few minutes, if someone doesn’tlike You, pleasing her as much as you can won’t change it, it will only bring you misery. And being friends with someone you like feels awful, so it’s loose loose.

Mzuzek your definition of women and love sound like they where taken from a soap opera, i’m Sorry but I see things very different, women also play the game,they want the most attractive man they can find, why do you thing most women dream of famous actors, because they are nice and comprehensive?



mZuzek said:
gamingsoul said:

Totally agree

couldn’t Believe what I was reading, this guy has major seft steem issues no wonder the girl rejected him, the worst part of it is that most likely no quality women will fall for a guy with such low self worth.

It's called "not being a fucking dick".

Opting to have a dick that isn't fucking is a choice. Not all subscribe to that newsletter though. There's nothing really wrong with a guy having self respect tbh, if a woman wants to have a pet guy as a backup plan that's cool if he is happy in that position, but survival of our species is based on males not being happy with that position.



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gamingsoul said:

Mzuzek your definition of women and love sound like they where taken from a soap opera, i’m Sorry but I see things very different, women also play the game,they want the most attractive man they can find, why do you thing most women dream of famous actors, because they are nice and comprehensive?

So, women are only people on soap operas. Got it.

I was never trying to describe love, dude. I was only trying to describe what it's like to be a respectful person in the society. Also, speaking of love, I think every relationship I've known that had "women playing the game" as foundations ended like shit. The most stable relationships I've known always started from two people being sincere with one another. All of them. So, yeah, forgive me for seeing things that way.