Hearing. The cure is close. I'd only have to loose it temporarily.

Penis. Never used it, never will.

Then why just use it or at least try to?

Been trying for years, it ain't happening.

Well masturbation is like 5 minutes out of my day that I could do without, and sex isn't really an option, while hearing and sight is used 24/7.

Try something different. Online dating or whatever. I guess you if you don't want to then whatever floats your boat.

Been trying online dating apps since 2011 without success. I want it very much, it's just not really within my capabilities.

I take it that you have some hang ups or inability to converse with 'em effectively? You don't need to answer that. I don't think you should give up. Try to improve what parts of yourself that you can (be clean cut, wear nicer clothes, try harder) and try different ways of interacting. It could be the kind of woman you're going after or something you're doing or not doing. Just don't give up on it.

Yeah I have autism which can be a considerable handicap. I'm not giving up, but at the same time I have to be realistic about my chances. Obviously, given the choice, I chose not to lose any of the above, but if I had a gun put to my head and had to pick, losing my penis would take the least away from me. If I lost my sight or hearing, I'd be severely limited in my capacity to enjoy my passions, (games and movies) my ability to interact with others and function as a part of society would be impaired considerably, my employment prospects would suffer, and life in general would be much, much harder.

I hear and see 100% of the time, but I spend less than 1% of my time jerking off.

That's good to be realistic about your chances. Not overly hopeful. Not overly pesimistic either. Have you tried looking for women with autism or a sister of one who's cool with it (I guess that kind is like a unicorn)?

I guess that makes sense in your case why you would choose that. For me, I could deal without my hearing. I watch alot of anime so I'm used to subtitles when i watch something. I also use it when I play games. i read alot of books and I like dicking around on forums. Get disability benefits, work from home and date a cute chick who's a deaf or a mute.  Learn to sign and use texting to talk. It could work.

It's less a matter of them being cool with it and more that I don't have the necessary social skills.

This has actually got me thinking about gaming while deaf; I suppose those that rely on visual feedback could be played, but I imagine it'd be tricky to play games where audio cues (outside of speech, which can be subtitled) are important. Like not being able to hear footsteps, gunfire, etc would be a big problem in some games. Not being able to hear music ever again is a very unpleasant thought to me though, and not that I'd know but I have heard that being deaf can be extremely isolating because it makes communication tricky. I mean, most people don't know sign language.