Forget Kim Kardashian, The Spence is the hugest celebrity on planet earth right now! As a huge fan of Kim - the vocalist for U2 and founder of GoogleTumblr if anyone was wondering - I decided to do a little digging to see why Philatio was stealing all of the attention from hard-working celebrities like Kim K. Here's what I found: unlike Kim K, he is a very poor role model and identifies as a "bad-a**", which helps him gain a following of juvenile delinquents. Think of what could happen to the children! First they stop eating their broccoli, next they'll be injecting marijuanas, humping prostitutes and "flipping the bird" at their superiors! Need proof of what this man is capable of? Take a gander at my findings from google.ca/images

Here he is imitating how he "f*cks b*tches" and "gets money", the true corporate scheme of "MS" which stands for Misogynistic Sh!tlords in case any fellow concerned mothers were wondering! It is also evident that he has been consuming hemp nuggets and is not in his right mind!:

Here we see "The Phil" show a reporter the techniques ISIS taught him for how to wield "fun-guns" which he will use to threaten kids and parents who purchase "Marios" and "Minecrafters"

This is how Phil responded when he was asked how he holds babies. "I force them to sleep and although they may suffer life-threatening brain damage I don't care because they cry when I try to play 'Halos' and gain 'spawnstreaks'"

Here Phil tries unsuccesfully to stop the gang symbol that his left arm moved to make when the reporter mentioned the words"blood"

And last but not least, here is "Papa Spencer" - as he refers to himself - responding to the accusation that he wants to "legitamize the ganja"

If you read the above words and are concerned, then don't worry, you are in the right place. Seriously, you are most definitely in the right place. If you don't want "Dr Phil" to brainwash your children with "mat-tricks" using his fancy new VR (Violent Reality) than I suggest you stand with me! If rating Halo "teen" to make violence more accessible to a younger audience didn't tip you off, I sure hope this post does. You could be the parent who enters your house to find the "SexBox" shooting discs at terminal velocity towards the one you love. Don't let Mr "Hate-Dispenser" into your home.

Guess I'll post it again

Phil has a nicer ass than Kim K

my mind has been blown, thanks RAM

Hey man I figure I am making claims that are equally as plausible sooooooooooo

7/10

Needs more Phil Spencer.

Ice has been corrupted pls call the CIA

@ Arlo: DO you work for Gamespot? C'mon I put 5 minutes into this!

EVERYONE WHO POSTS INB4 LOCK IS COOL

No I'm not high I just like making parodies of petty arguments :D
QUICK EVERYONE GET YOUR WORD YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME

He's cool. Look, he rolls his sleeves up mid-forearm. That means he represents both the upper class AND the middle class.

Good old Phil Mccracken the man of the moment

Not even 10 minutes. I feel like a ruthless dictator :D