Granted. You now have no family.

I wish Galaki would post more crazy news in the Off-Topic forums.

granted, but its in an ancient language you cant understand.

i wish i was a nicer person :(

Granted. You're now so nice that you donate to me your life savings.

I wish Twestern would get eaten by a giant blueberry named Elmer.

granted, you have inherited my £850 debt :D

granted also, but Elmer spits him back out and now he's so pissed off he permabans you.

i wish it would become sunny, for the evening.

Granted. But it becomes sunny due to a solar flare and burns your home up.

I wish my cell phone would get here already

Granted. Your cell phone is hand-delivered by a giant blueberry named Elmer who then eats you.

I wish pokemon were real.

granted, but its a DIY assembly job. and you have no instructions D:

i wish i could see these people in real life :D

Granted but you have to wacht them all die.

I wish my foot didn't hurt.

granted. you have no legs

@trashleg you didnt wish for anything

I wish Stephen Colbert was President.