She died around noon today. She had been admitted to the hospital on Tuesday after she had been wandering outside of the house and couldn't recognize us. I didn't go to the hospital because my mom suggested me not to. I had to wait until the next day to figure out what she had. Well, my mother came home on Wednesday and said it was blood poisoning. She had to be started on antibiotics and she should have been fine.
My mother visited the hospital the next day. She said that my grandmother was in liver failure. She had had liver cancer for the past months and it was going into remission. But my mom said that there was too much damage and there was maybe a week or two left. It was absolutely horrible. It tore away at me. I didn't want to leave my bed and I cried constantly, and I am crying while this is being written.
On Thursday, a call came from the hospital saying there was air in her intestines. This just shortened her time. We had a decision to make. We could either do the surgery which meant that she would have more time or we could start her on morphine and let her go painlessly. We had to visit the hospital and it was the most horrible decision of me and my family's life. When we saw her, she couldn't speak and didn't recognize us and she was shaking violently when she was awake. We decided that if she couldn't recognize us and she was in pain, we should start her on morphine and let her go. She died Sunday, July 12th, 2009. Her 68th birthday was going to be in two weeks. She will be cremated and we are holding a service for her on Friday.
My grandmother had lived with us since I was 5. She always made dinner for the family and helped to clean up around the house. I stayed up late with her talking and watching TV. I always helped her when she asked me and she was there whenever I became angry or sad. We were friends. She was one of my only friends in my entire life. And she's gone, and I don't know if I'll see her in the afterlife or even if there is one, and it just hurts so horribly. It is the most horrible thing that has ever happened in my life.
Kimi wa ne tashika ni ano toki watashi no soba ni ita
Itsudatte itsudatte itsudatte
Sugu yoko de waratteita
Nakushitemo torimodosu kimi wo
I will never leave you












