Legal Clarification. I was under age when I did most of this shit. So I am no longer legally at fault. You know just in case I am relating these events to one of my past victims.
I once gave a friend brownies laced with laxatives. The important thing to note is we lived in the country, and we had a hour bus ride to school. Ever see someone really having to shit on a school bus? There aren't any toilets just a waste basket, and not a lot of privacy. End of story he was left on the side of the road, and the driver had the school call his parents.
Once I offered to do a classmates homework for fifty cents. Then proceeded to put down wrong answers, as in seriously wrong answers. Like he puts the dick in her ass. The teacher needless to say had some words with him. When confronted I said that he only paid for me putting down answers not necessarily the right ones.
Once I wrote a love note between two of my male classmates and left it on the floor where the teacher could find it. She was one of those teachers that hated notes, and would humiliate the students by reading them out loud. You should have seen the look on her face when she got to the line about sticking his dick in his mouth. Then a few minutes later she called both of them back to her desk. Priceless three people with beat red faces from one prank.
I used to live a few houses down from a guy who was a flaming homosexual. The story goes he actually screwed his own cousin at boyscout camp. One day a couple friends and I took a picture of a body builder. Wrote this is my man on it, and applied superglue to it. When our victim sat down we put it on the back of his seat. He went to school for a few hours not even knowing it was there.
I once spent three days prank calling a PBS during a public telethon. I got the donations up to a insane level, and basically controlled their lineup for the first day. Then on the second day we started to really take it out on the phone bank. The beauty of this is you could actually tape the person you were calling.
Once a few friends and I called fifty people and told them they won a raffle, and should be at the school at a certain time to collect their prize. The result forty people showed up during our lunch hour so we could laugh at the insanity.
Once I took a cup of water, poured some acetone nail polish remover in to it, and tossed in a small block of dry ice, and left it in the bed of a coworkers truck. He spent an hour walking around that thing trying to figure out what was going on. Oddly enough he got a ride home, and picked it up the next day after I removed the then empty cup. He was really religious might have thought it was some kind of sign.
I once told coworkers we had to remove dead dogs from a dumpster, because the garbage men would not take animal carcasses that were not bagged. I had all the gear too gloves, bags, and a stool to get in. Then proceeded to take them to the dumpster asking them about how water resistant their shoes were, and making sure to tell them they had to wedge their hands under the animals, because if they grabbed the limbs the would just pop out. Yes people can turn green.
I once took wet tissue paper, and some pastel wax crayons, and made my arm look like a really festering wound. Would have done Hollywood proud. Told people I had an incurable flesh eating disease, and that I was due for amputation in a couple days before it spread. Then I would just accidentally bump into them with the wound. Ever see someone run for the soap.
We once let a live skunk lose inside a sleeping persons house. Talk about some fun shit. Screams and people running for the door.
I always liked putting flags down on mailboxes. Especially for a few days in a row. Why the hell isn't the mailman taking this. I would also like to stick sticky notes in the boxes that said proper postage is required. Nothing like making someone waste another book of stamps.
Placing dead animals on top of peoples engine blocks is always good fun. Then they get to wonder if they killed the cat. Cutting lines of baking soda on the hood of their car is also fairly funny. Perhaps best of all though is going down the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and finding a open window so you can slip a six pack of Budweiser into their passenger seat. In winter right in the middle of the trucks bed works well. Pull back into the bushes, and watch as their friends intervene, and try to get them to confess to falling off the wagon. They can't defend themselves. I remember one of them saying so the beer fairy left it for you.
Perhaps my all time favorite is making alters in strange locations. My favorite one I personally did was to put a single lit black candle in a chalk pentagram on the path to a neighbors house. That really just screws people up, because people can imagine it means a lot of things. Though my brother has seen the same thing in public restrooms. Not sure if its a joke for those people, but it sure as hell inspired me.
at least to the starving family ... wait was it for them to eat?
WHO IS JESUS REALLY?
