Belmont : Die monster ! you dont belong in this world!
Dracula : -explains how evil he is in a half an hour cutscene-
Belmont : IT CANT BE!!
Dracula : but enough talk! , HAVE AT YOU SNAKE! .... erm.. human!

I'm having more fun making God of War comparisons with the game to concern myself with Kojima being behind it now.

To be fair though, I'll create a really lame joke on the spot:

Castlevania codenamed Lightning Bolt Action

You see...lame.

what a joke! a Miserable little pile of humor!

In a gruff voice, "Medieval warfare has changed..."

If I explain it for two paragraphs it becomes a bit clever, but anytime you have to explain a joke in the first place, you fail at life. I don't want to fail at life, so no explanation from me.

you probably didnt get the joke i said too we're even.

Don't explain it to me Frank. I wouldn't want you to fail at life in any way, shape or form.

Dracula is a clone of the Belmonts. Or Simon is a clone of Dracula. Either way, it's just what Death planned, while pretending to be the Count's loyal servant.

Now you know how I feel.

Anyhow, if you insist on humor in a Castlevania game made by Kojima, I want to be able to give the main character a box he can hide it.  A box is almost as out of place as in the area of Metal Gear, as it is in Castlevania.

I picture in my head Belmont hiding from Medusa heads in it. When one finally spots him, he grabs it and tries to break its neck... only there isn't one.