In soviet russia, the racoons rape you?

Haha. Brilliant.

I'm pretty sure Russia is the home of the raccoon dog.

My wang is scared just thinking about it.

I thought that was China... but racoon dog isn't a raccoon.

*goes wikipediaing*

Hmm, interesting.

It does confirm Montana's wang is scared.

If anything, it confirms he thinks with his wang?

WOW
What a lame!

too bad it wasn't a wolverine.

Cute lil guy!

Montana, is your wang scared? If it can survive lord of the rings it can survive anything lol.

What he should have done, was knock over a trashcan, while in his underwear. A curious racoon would've showed up to see what was going on. The trick is to appear startled, but curious. Probably wouldn't hurt to say something like: "I was just about to clean this up.....do you wanna.....I dunno.....just hang out?" Racoons LOVE the shy, curious act. Then, he could have invited the animal in to play some Sly Cooper or something. Dim the lights. A little vodka and some sushi would have sealed the deal. Casual, consentual, raccoon lovin'. Ain't nothing sexier than that. Aaaaaah, yeeeaaaaah......

When your penis is shredded, it's too late to think about what you SHOULD HAVE done.