By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Close

Forums - Gaming - Shovelware? An experiment into Hannah Montana games.

Some of you may remember a thread that was recently created for the sole purpose of insulting ‘girl games’.  Many voiced their opinions to either defend or bash these girl games but one particular post got me thinking…

Soulsamurai said, “Now while I have no interest in the games and refuse to play them to create a 800 - 1000 essay that we already know is going to be littered with my bias garbage being a waist of my time and yours.  Now why don't we get someone who it's actually targeted towards and have them play some of those games, compared to other games their targeted to. Better yet a gamer who would actually enjoy hannah montana games.”

…everyone in that thread had one thing in common; none of us have actually played any of these games we were discussing.  I decided to take it upon myself to bite the bullet, play through these games, and report what I hope is an honest and fair review.



Around the Network

A Moment for Objectivity

Before I begin my review I would like to take a quick moment to explain why I believe I am a good candidate for reviewing girl games.

Over the years I have consumed a large amount of ‘girl entertainment’.  The Ashley Olsen avatar isn’t just because I think she’s hot; I own every signal Mary-Kate and Ashley dvd from Full House to Weeds and every single thing in between.   

And it is not limited to MKA: Lizzie McGuire, What I Like about You, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Gilmore Girls, High School Musical, and most importantly Hannah Montana.  I won’t bother listing everything but believe me, I’ve been through the good the bad and the ugly in girl-centric entertainment.

On the other hand I am also a veteran gamer.  At 27 years of age I have owned: Commodore 64, Atari, NES, SNES, N64, GC, Wii, xbox 360, ps3, gameboy, and ds.  While not complete, my gaming profile is update with current gen gaming and ought to give you the impression I consume quite a large number of video games over a wide cross section of genres.

 

**SPOILER ALERT**

I really doubt any of you will rush out to play these games,…ever.  Either way, there are going to be plenty of spoilers in my review in case you care.

 



Review: Hannah Montana

Story

Hannah Montana is a mystery game with three mysteries to be solved. 

In the first mystery your father wakes you to distressing news.  You have just received an anonymous letter from a disgruntled fan that claims to know Hannah Montana’s true identity is none other than Miley Stewart!  Oh noes!  Now you must now track the clues down to find your disgruntled fan and convince him not to blab.  I’ll spare you the middle (mostly because I already forgot it) and jump straight to the end.  Miley finds the fan but he refuses to keep his mouth shut so you will have to pull a fast one on him.  You invite him to meet Hannah Montana backstage at tonight’s concert with you (as Miley) thus proving Miley and Hannah are not the same person!  One well place wig on your best friend Lilly and disaster averted.  Hooray, let’s get the concert started!

./end dream sequence

The next morning arrives and you are pretty darn tired from putting on such an awesome show last night (…in your dreams?).  And that’s when the unthinkable happens; you receive an email from an anonymous fan claiming to know Hannah Montana’s true identity.  Now is the time you should go back to the previous paragraph and re-read it because this story line plays out exactly the same.

In the third mystery you receive a text message…      ./sigh.

The final chapter ends with you being sent back to your home looking for a clue but instead you find a surprise party.  WHAT?!?  Apparently you have failed to realize today is your birthday and your father set-up all these mysteries to get you out of the house long enough to put up some party decorations.  Awesome.

Gameplay

The bulk of the game is basically a book.  Approach someone that might help you solve the mystery, find out they can’t help you but remember some small detail that sends you to some else that might be able to help you instead.  There is a lot game space you can visit; your home, the mall, the school, the beach, and the stadium.  However, as the previous person in your investigation tells you exactly where to go next, it doesn’t really matter.

Occasionally when you approach someone they refuse to answer you question until you find some object for them.  This is the time you break out your magnifying glass (if the lights are on) or flashlight (if they are off) and scan your stylus over the screen until you find the objects.  I say objects because every signal time the object is broken into two and you have to use your menu to combine them. 

Oliver (a friend), Jackson (brother) and some random (bitchy) girls sometimes distract you from getting where you want to go.  When they do you must go through a branching dialogue system where all but one branch cause you to fail.  Luckily the correct branch is generally easy to identify.

Not always but sometime when traveling from location to location you will play a skate boarding mini game.  It’s pretty simple, use the stylus to move trash, cats, and balls off the road so you don’t run into them.

Oh, and as you progress you unlock fabrics and designs for your clothes editor.  As stupid as this sounds, when you go to your closet you can design your own clothes to wear but you can’t actually wear them.  They just sit in your closet or if you are really adventurous you can trade you design with a friend over the wireless and it will sit in their closet instead.

Presentation

Visually, I have no complaints.  The music was fine but I have to question why they didn’t use any Hannah Montana music.  The real thorn, none of the recognizable characters (Miley, Lilly, Jackson, ect.) were recognizable.  Lilly is not a punk skater grrl.  Miley is not a coasty bitch.  I swear the developers must have gotten a one paragraph summary of Hannah Montana and nothing else because each of the characters were adolescent stereotypes not at all reminiscent of the characters they were suppose to represent.

Final Thoughts

On the one hand I want to say this game was a lot like touch detective except that unlike touch detective you never had to think.  All the clues were directly told to you and then you were told exactly where to go next.

On the other hand I want to say this game is a lot like hotel dusk: 215 because similarly these games are pretty much books.  The big difference being that the story was horrible.  Even when I scale expectations back due to the young audience this game was developed for the product was still disappointing. 

So basically I played a story-driven adventure game with a bad story that repeated three times and characters that were both horribly written and unrepresentative of the actual characters.  I hate to admit it but I really don’t have a choice in the matter – this game is crap. 

 



Review: Hannah Montana Music Jam

Story

A new pop sensation, Savannah Star, is burning up the charts threatening to leave Hannah Montana yesterday’s fad.  Central to Savannah’s popularity is the fact that she actually plays her own instruments.  Hannah, determined not to give up without a fight, challenges Savannah to music-video-off where each pop star will produce a music video a day for four straight days to be voted on by the fans on a TRLesque show.

To help giver herself the edge, Hannah Montana teaches herself how to play her own instruments as well.  And wouldn’t you know it, Hannah wins the competition!

While Hannah is busy trying to win the competition her best friend Lilly starts hanging out with the new kid at school, Josie Moore.  If Miley isn’t careful to balance her work life with her personal life she is going to lose her best friend as well.

After winning the competition Hannah Montana scores a cameo on the hit tv show Zombie High.  The producer decides that it would be great invite Savannah onto the show as well to fight each other in an epic dance off.  Well as fate would have it Hannah and Savannah turn out to have more in common than they thought.  Savannah is actually Josie and now your bff!

Presentation

This is by no means a graphical stunner but I was impressed by a lot of the presentation’s details.  The game starts out in Hannah’s house and I was able to navigate it with ease because it had the exact same layout as on the show.  The soundtrack was all Hannah Montana songs, well done I might add.  Every word that came out of each character’s dialogue fit the character perfectly – I’d guess they got one of the writers from the show involved. 

Gameplay

This is a mini game compilation broken into two genres of games. 

All of the mini games associated with Hannah Montana are rhythm games.  You learn to play rhythm guitar, bass guitar, lead guitar, drums, and vocals.  For each of the guitar games the d-pad was your fretting (left, right, up, down, open) and you either strummed across all the strings (rhythm) or plucked a specific string (bass, lead).  

This was a simple but surprisingly fun mechanic.  The notes you played followed the song well and were overlay on the songs from the basic soundtrack so you really felt like your notes were adding to the song.

Drums were fun but less so.  You had four drums and four cymbals to hit with your stylus.  Rings centered on the correct drum would start from off screen and get smaller and smaller until it was the size of the drum which is when you needed to hit it.  The issue is when several notes worth of rings are on the screen it is really hard to tell which drum you are suppose to hit next. 

I think I had more fun with the vocal mini game then any other gaming in the last year and for all the wrong reasons.  The game is Arkanoid complete with power ups except that you control the paddle with the pitch of your voice.  Lower your pitch to move left, raise it to move right.  Now the part that took this game from good to awesome for me was the paddle was looking for a specific pitch in a specific octave and in order for me to move the paddle I had to sing in falsetto.  Ridiculous?  Ridiculously awesome!

Miley based mini games were less memorable overall.  A racing game very reminiscent of micro machines for the NES, ice skating, pizza cooking, a geometry game, ect.

Between acts was the music video editor.  This was easily the low light of the game.  Making a music video was as easy as picking the music, background, Hannah’s pose and clothes, and the lighting for each frame.  To win the competition with Savannah you had to score a minimum number of votes with your video but getting high votes simply meant never repeating the same element twice.

I will make a special note of the music editor though.  You were given more votes for making your own song instead of a stock song and the editor was pretty flexible.  I made a pretty decent knock off of weezer’s sweater song for my video.  Of course, those without any musical talent are doomed to fail here, a wii music syndrome so to speak.

Final Thoughts

I had a lot of fun with this game especially with the rhythm games, the music editor, and the geometry game.  By no means was it ground breaking but still I genuinely enjoyed my time with it.

I think it would be fair to compare this game to Final Fantasy Fables Chocobo Tales because they are exact clones of each other only differing in their storyline material.  To be fair I even went back to Chocobo Tales for a bit simply to remind myself of the game for comparisons sake. 

Chocobo undoubtedly has prettier graphics. However, I found the story line to be clichéd drivel and most of the mini games to be adequate at best.  I lost interest in the game 5 hours 48 minutes and 40 seconds in (horray for playtime clocks!) and going back to it now was more painful than fun.

For my time and money I prefer Hannah Montana Music Jam to Chocobo’s Tale.  As hard as it will be for some to swallow, this was actually a pretty good game.

 



Final Verdict

Girl games:  Not all of them suck.

 



Around the Network

Well.... Games like Hannah Montana have gotten a bad rap for being cheap cashins.... now onforunantly games like Music Jam iventhough it might be good... it will never get the credit it deserves. I think that this trend was going on since the begining of video games.... games like back to the future, which were built to be a games that has nothing to do with the subject but had the brand slapped across their forehead. Ofcourse there will be games that will break the mold once a blue moon (Goldeneye) but still.... most of those games are creatred to be cashins and that will never change.

I know i might be stating the obveous here and im sorry :(



/reserved

Only did so because everyone else was doing it.



iPhone = Great gaming device. Don't agree? Who cares, because you're wrong.

Currently playing:

Final Fantasy VI (iOS), Final Fantasy: Record Keeper (iOS) & Dragon Quest V (iOS)     

    

Got a retro room? Post it here!

lol, well i believe everything is up and the formatting errors are fixed. for those brave enough to read everthing you will be busy for quite a while. i'm going to grab a quick lunch and i'll check up on you guys soon. xD



Frybread will kill you for saying a 2m game is crap...



 

 

 

 

 

Awesome review! Can you do Grey's Anatomy for the Wii next? :D



 

Face the future.. Gamecenter ID: nikkom_nl (oh no he didn't!!)