trasharmdsister12 said:
1) You were? If you were I guess I didn't realize it 2) That's exactly it. I've been driven so hard for so long and it all seems to be amounting to nothing. Now I don't even have the drive to fight against my own decay. The odd thing I've noticed though is those of us here feeling this way (you, myself, Mordred) are generally great people and we really shouldn't feel like this. Is it our selfless drive to be "better" that simply makes us cave? Are we simply trained to feel inadequate to have the drive to better ourselves? Is there a way out? 3) My family is from India (My dad is from Surat and my mom from Mumbai/Bombay) but I was born and raised in Canada and I've lived here all my life. Sorry to disappoint |
. Either way, all is forgiven 
. I actually like your style as a poster and know I'd get along with you in real life. You're a genuine human and I appreciate your honesty and slightly envy the nature you convey in your more serious posts.
. I've been to some amazing places in India and sometimes thinking about them brings me peace. The big one is the Vaishno Devi Mandir in the north. The day my family journeyed there changed me for life. I was only 9 at the time but still remember it vividly.
2) My problem is probably not one many would sympathize with at all... My life has been too easy up to this point. I scored well in school and later Uni without trying much at all. I excelled in almost all sports I played. Girls find me attractive (though I was a little too shy in my youth to take advantage of this one) and I have literally the coolest fiancee ever. I live in one of the most sought after cities in the world... And yet...
At 25 I have finally come to accept something I fundamentally didn't believe in earlier. Depression is genetic. It's really bad news for me since my dad killed himself just over 2 years ago due to depression. He was such a smart and successful lawyer back in the day and then his life just crumbled into nothingness.
I'm not even sure if it's really beneficial to discuss this depression of ours, but I know it somehow feels good. Maybe we should have a AA thread or something?
3) India was the one place I was free. I didn't have any money, hardly knew anyone, almost died of ilness, yet I would wander through the Dhama's without anyf cares or concerns. My favourite place was Puri. Of course I couldn't enter Jagannatha's temple as a foreigner, but even so, that city has a mystical quality about it - literally feels like a different dimension altogether.
...so make the thread eh ? 
Essay Pro