Post-Round One-Liners

There are some pretty great little nuggets of personality in Punch-Out!!'s design back on NES, and if it's done right, the Wii version (which is already looking like a remake of sorts) will have some of its own. We're talking about the random Bald Bull obsession with Doc ("Doc can't help you now. Will you beg me for help?" and "Zip your lip, Doc. Little Mac is mine now."), the borderline racist Piston Honda ("I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo." And "Sushi, Kamikaze, Fujiyama, Nipponichi…"), and the borderline intoxicated ramblings of "Soda Popinski", or so he's now called. You know, the killer lines like "I can't drive, so I'm gonna walk all over you!" or "I drink to prepare for a fight. Tonight I am very prepared!" That's drama you can't build in the ring, so hopefully some sort of rebirth of that mechanic is kept. It's awesome to beat the hell out of a smug-nosed Don Flamenco, but it adds a whole new dimension when he steps to his corner and says "Carmen, my love… I dance so sweet for you!" Who is this mysterious Carmen, and why is such a beautiful man risking all in a fight for dear life?

Single Player Focus

Wait, what? IGN, (says you, to us), you're crazy! It's Wii! Wii is all about multiplayer! Oh so right you are, loyal Nintendite, but Punch-Out!! is all about killer pattern recognition and the battle for the top. We wouldn't be pissed if some kind of vs. mode was included, but the point is that it isn't needed. If connectivity comes with time trials for each fight, online rankings through multiple difficulties and the like, we really don't need a two-player mode as much as other titles of its kind. If it can be pulled off, more power to Next Level games, but if it's about getting the true arcade feel of the game, we really don't need to bring a friend over and make our Punch-Out!! experience better; it already kicks plenty of ass, thank you very much. Fight us on that one though… it'll be fun.

Inaudible Mario Referee

When he isn't fixing pipes, Mario frequents a local boxing arena and refs part-time in the Bronx, New York. The greatest part about his 8-bit offering specifically though, was his random, not real voiceover. We love the idea of a ref that counts by saying "Bink, bink, bink…….bink-king-koo" and delivers that TKO line with such eloquence and charm. Don't get us wrong. We love Charles Martinet (the voice of Mario). The guy is cool, and we'll gladly play some Punch-Out!! with him over a couple of beers, but the last thing we want when we boot up Punch-Out!! Wii is to hear "Oh a-hello! Welcome to Punch-Out!! Thank-a-you for playing! Coo-coo-crazy-yippie!" We'd punch ourselves in the face.