Multiplatform equality?

Some might call it affirmative action while others might call it pandering to minorities. Whatever you call it, the result is that it doesn't matter what your race is out in the multiplatform wilderness you still get an equal shot with 90% of the titles which will be released now and into the future.

• No PS3 game or Xbox 360 game shall look better than the other if the developer can so help it.

• No ability on either console shall be used which the other console cannot manage. So if one console cannot afford to wear a suit, then suits shall not be required for these multiplatform jobs.

Affirmitive action in action.

In order to help the minorities, the government (Microsoft) has decided to offer certain jobs first to Xboxes as timed exclusives. This has required considerable investment of incentives and other grants in certain industries. Whilst it has come under considerable crititicism in the past for this practice, the government has pledged to continue offering them to the Xbox 360.

• 3rd party exclusives and series are to be given great incentives by the government so that they may give jobs to the Xbox 360s before they are offered to the wider console population.
• The reason to do this is to break up the old boys clubs of Sony and Nintendo by giving Xboxes a fairer chance in the work place as they are offered jobs by virtue of their 'make' not according to any particular talent.
• They made the Xbox 360s Arcade $200, Premium $300, Elite $400 to help give people more incentive to hire an Xbox 360 for the job than ever before.

Healing the attrocious Xbox 360 health statistics.

Its no surprise to many people that compared to their PS3 and Wii brothers, Xbox 360s die well before their time on average. The government has been slowly but surely changing this statistic and bringing positive change to the Xbox 360 minority. Over the years numerous health initiatives have been put into place to stem the tide and bring the Xbox 360 mortality rate back into line with the other consoles.

• Free health care for 3 years from birth, instead of the standard 1 year.
• Better treatment for those who do become sick to prevent a reoccurence (Opus motherboard)
• Reducing the primary causes of the health problems by introducing the Zephyr, and Falcon revisions as well as the upcoming Jasper revision which is said to finally put an end to the problems.

• Slimming down the console to reduce the mortality rate from complexity and bring the Xbox 360 size into line with the majority of the consoles. This is called the Valhalla program, and from next year new Xbox 360s will be slim and healthier than even the Jasper revision.

The Microsoft future!

Microsoft wants to improve the lives of every Xbox now and into the future. They want to ensure that they get enough jobs, that they are healthy and that the 3rd generation of Xboxes can lead even better lives than the current generation.

:)

They better ****ing make the Xbox 720. The future right now looks bleak for the nextbox, if there is one.

................Seriously stop making these ridiculous threads Squilliam.

I miss starcraft.

I would, but I'm opposed to affirmative action and the killing of Ensemble Studios. I can't in good conscience vote for a candidate who would waste more blood and treasure in these senseless Halo Wars.

Remind me, how much is Microsoft paying you to advertise for them? If they're not, then why do you keep doing it? They're a big company, they can do their own advertising. And if they are paying you, fess up already.

You make me sick.

Also, isn't viral marketing a banworthy offense?

They are baseless accusations! Microsoft would never dismantle my favourite studio...

Since Microsoft is the underdog here, for every "The Xbox 360" is gonna die thread I have to post 1-2 threads that the Xbox 360 is awesome.

:)

C´mon, Squilliam, you´re starting to give me the impression you´re very worried about the Xbox´s future.

You don´t need to keep making these threads, let the system´s games speak for themselves.