http://xboxfocus.com/columns/36-six-rings-in/687-the-essential-gear/index.html

The Essential Gear

by Zack Rovinsky August 3rd 2008 3:43 PM CDT0 Comments

If you play games, and I mean REALLY play games then you know that you need a whole lot more than just a console, a TV and software (though such things are still important). This guide to game accessorizing will help you bring your experience to the next level and ensure that you will be prepared for every gaming situation short of getting kicked out by your parents.

Don’t you dare act like you’ve never done this. If nature calls during a marathon gaming session there is simply no time to get up and go to the loo so use a convenient bottle. I still have mine from when I broke my ankle two summers ago. I'm saving it in case I ever get within throwing range of Rush Limbaugh. Also, if you're a girl, what are you doing here?

If you need food of only slightly questionable quality fast, than just pop whatever in and watch it spin around until it goes ding. With the awe-inspiring selection in the frozen food section nowadays you can pick up a heat and eat meal for any game. Are you a Soul Calibur enthusiast who hungers for the spiritual being of your opponent? I've been told that those Lean Cuisine paninis taste just like souls. Guitar Hero? That frozen pizza can double as a pick if you want to eat while playing. Madden players can bring the sports bar to them with a number of Hungry Man entrees, and Gears Of War lovers can satisfy their taste for gore by doing horrific things to frozen ravioli.

What’s a microwave without anything to put in it? Gamers would starve without the magical cold box that’s miraculously refilled by those people who keep yelling at you to get a job. Be sure to keep yours stocked with the essentials: milk, eggs, and enough caffeinated drinks to turn you into a twitchy, jibbering madman in an online FPS.

What happens when you pass out playing Rock Band and wake up to find out that oh, lets say The View is on? In the old days you would die of exposure before making it to the TV. Now you can just zap the demons to oblivion and go on rocking your small wallpapered world. Now, where the hell is that thing?

Who wants to schlep to their local game store just to find that there are no copies of that hard-to-find critical-darling of a game that no one bought. Or that the price of a used copy of a 3-year old game is still way too much? Just make a call and still pay through the nose. It's also useful if your clan needs to wake you up for a game. Behold the power of technology.

What’s a game without a big glowing screen to play it on? You need a top of the line set up or else your next-gen investment isn't worth shit. Can also provide between game breaks that I’m sure have saved many a retina and carpal tunnel. I’ll gladly stop shooting stuff to watch Scrubs.

How can we game when away from our precious home setup? Why with any of the number of portable game systems available. Like the chick-magnet DS, or dude-magnet PSP. There are even options outside those big 2. If you're cheap you can get a GBA. If you're cheap and like getting laughed at you can even get the N-Gage. But really, you can’t put a price on never ever having to wait patiently.

Everything up till now is pretty much optional, but the very definition of a gamer lies within a console. Whatever system you may own and whatever games you may play, you can’t spell gaming without gaming console. And that means you must be fiercely loyal to the one you choose. Growl at the others when you pass them in the stores. Take yours to bed at night and tell it it's the only one. Maybe have a sweaty fling with a Wii in a cheap motel room.

It’s one thing to have a PC for games, but I stopped that once I realized the massive investment it would take to keep up-to-date and be able to play the newest games. There's good news though, this machine does so much more. How else could gamers express opinions no one cares about, spout nonsense about how their system is better than the others, or even write a column that nobody reads? Only with a computer my friend.

Everything on the list to this point has been pretty much replaceable but what on this list absorbs more of the users personality than the sofa. Look inside your couch and you’ll find more than just assorted fluff and enough trapped methane to gas a small Kurdish village, you’ll find a little bit of you, and if you’re lucky a quarter. If you're really advanced, like me, you can upgrade to the high-backed, leather clad, arm rested, reclining superchair I call a man-throne. I love my man-throne. It's everything I ever wanted out of my mortal pursuit, but don't you go get one just yet. There is the distinct possibility that you are not man enough for a man-throne. Consult your physician first.

The only thing I don't have from that list is......cell phone >_>

You don't have a cell phone?? wow, simply midblowing (everyone around me has one yes even kids who are 3 years old.)

I use TV, Remote control, console, controller, chair. No couch (I want one >.

I also suggest a lock for your door, especially when playing games that are very story-driven (e.g. Metal Gear Solid series).

By the way, I'd use a toilet instead of a pee bottle. That's what the ''Pause'' button is for!

i dont have a pee bottle from those

the only thing i don't have in that list is the pee bottle, i got small beverage fridge in my room

yeah i dont think the pee bottle should have been in that list

....I have to get a job 1st, so I can pay the monthly bill >_>

O_o