What's brown and sticky?
Julian Clary's bellend.

Gary Glitter phoned Micheal Jackson the other day to ask if he could change a ten for 2 fives.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Cough, gag, choke, etc.

What's 100 yards long and smells of piss?
The Post Office queue on Thursday mornings.

I know a funny one!

CNET: PS3 will sell 105m+ by end 2012 and be ahead of the Wii.

lol.

Yes.

You know those Viagra commercials...

They tell you to call your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours.

I'm sorry but if I have an erection for 4 hours or more, my doctor is the last person I'm going to call.

(Wacka, Wacka)

I didn't get this at first, but about .7 seconds later I bursted out laughing.

@Steven, that was hilarious as well!

Sadly I can't think of any good jokes right now...I'll be sure to post some if I can think of any.

thanks wfz,

Me: "Mom, I met the girl of my dreams"
Mom: "How lovely."
Me: "I want you to meet her, but before you do let's play a game. I'm going to bring over 3 girls, and I want you to guess which one is my dream girl"
Mom: "Ok"

I brought over three girls, they all introduced themselves to my mother...

Me: "Well, ma, which one do you think it is?"
Mom: "The red head in the middle"
Me: "Your right, that's amazing! How did you know?"
Mom: "She's the one I don't like."

Why did people start making white chocolate?




So black kids can get dirty to

P.S i aint racist me friend told me that joke a few weeks back, and i found it highly hilarious

That is horrible Obie... I am assuming there was a typo.



Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I 'd like to ride in that helicopter".
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars".

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."


Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars".

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

A little American Indian boy comes up to his father and asks: Daddy, how do you come up with our names?

The father says: Well, son, when we have baby, we look outside Teepee and name is whatever we see first. With your sister, we look outside and see babbling brook, so that is her name... Why you ask, Two Dogs Humping?