Alex: your script may not be any good. But hey least you gave it a go. You can always improve upon it.

Try and learn. If you make a video review, you're bound to get some, or a lot, of negative feedback. There's too big a difference from text to sound. I recommend making one, even though it's not great, and then review something else.

I am doing that. I am going to do my best. Thank you for the advice. I would appreciate more criticism next time, though.

you, use, way, too, many, commas, it, gets, really, annoying, because, you, think, you, are, supposed, to, pause, but, you, aren't, and, it, makes, you, (the, author,), look, like, a, second, grader,,,,,

I might be seen as an A-hole for saying this but sometimes you just don't have "it"....You know what I mean? That x-factor..the something special that ties it all together and makes it work.

Doing something like this requires it and I'll give you that it takes balls to lay your work out there like this...but I don't think you would have posted if you didn't want honest answers.

So my honest take on the situation is that this approach just isn't going to work for you, you're trying to hard to make it work and that only makes it worse. Something is pretty much funny or its not...

Think up a new angle to approach this from and try again, thats my advice. As long as you review bad games and swear profusely you're going to be compared to either Yahtzee and/or AVGN.

Thanks for the advice. I have changed the script again. This approach wont work for anyone. It's like polishing a bad painting. Polish it all you want, it's still going to be bad. I have changed the script, yet again, and believe it or not, I'm almost finished my video, and it looks better. Remember. I will keep trying, forever.