I have to post it :P
http://malstrom.50webs.com/news.htm
Sign of Apocalypse: Wii Fit Sign of Doom appears on Time Square on May, 14 2008
The sign has appeared for this is the Revelation of Saint Malstrom. I honk my trumpet, and...
Behold! The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse appear! I honked my trumpet again, and lo! A figure approached!
It was Miyamoto who rode a white horse. Carrying a bow, he also wore the crown of gaming. He held the power of Conquest. Carrying the key to the bottomless pit, he opened it, and... behold! A plague of non-games swarmed from the pit and, like locusts, traveled throughout the markets. The hardcore gamers, feeling betrayed, cried out, "Why, Miyamoto! Why are you destroying our world!?"
And Miyamoto said...
"(laughs) I am the horseman of non-immersion! For too long, games had either been fantasy immersion or realistic immersion. Now, it is time for gaming to exist outside the screen!"
The hardcore screamed as the non-games devoured their markets. To ignore this, the hardcore went wild over one of the last DS epics: "The World Ends With You" without realizing the irony.
I honked the trumpet for a second time and, behold!, another horseman appeared. His horse was a fiery red, and he held up high Nintendo's Sword.
Endlessly laughing, Iwata announced himself the Horseman of the Blue Ocean. "I hold the power of war," he chuckled. As he struck the sword to the market, the hardcore began warring among themselves! "Blu-Ray!" screamed one. "Xbox Live!" screamed another. As the hardcore fought one another, they didn't realize the greater threat that was to engulf them all.
Come and see, the voice said to me. I looked up, honked my trumpet again, and lo! Come and see! said the voice again, for another horseman approached. This horse was all black, the rider could barely be seen, and he held scales.
Reggie laughed and said, "I am the Horseman of Disruption," and he used the scales on the market that showed where the profit is and where the sales were. Many third parties jumped while other hardcore franchises began to have their budget exceed their profits. Come and see, I heard as the hardcore games grew less and less in number. Within time, the hardcore began to starve as a great Gaming Famine spread across their land.
For the last time, I honked the trumpet and another horseman appeared. The horse was pale and the rider paler, surely it had to be the Horseman of Death!
Reggie let out a marketing smirk. "You can have a Wii of any color, so long as it's white."
Miyamoto, answering a hardcore's complaint, said, "What?! There are not enough Wii peripherals, I say! I will make some more. (laughs)"
Iwata, following them, said, "The game has changed... And the way the game is played has to be changed. (laughs)"
Yamauchi simply said, "We shall rise to heaven or sink to hell!"
And, behold! the ground gave way and the chosen gamers began ascending to the Nintendo heaven! As we rose, I saw a great wonder in the sky: a woman clothed with the market, and a white slab under her feet, and upon her head a crown of profitable financial statements. Then, lo, I saw that the white slab was actually a Balance Board. She wiggled and waggled on the board, giggling forever so, when the hardcore rose up and attempted to devour her balance board as soon as it was born. But the woman fled to the heaven, and the hardcore followed, with no more console wars to enjoy, are enraged that their world is no longer the same.
Then the strangest twist of the generation took place:
The hardcore declared war on heaven...
end of core gaming days prediction:
E3 2006-The beginning of the end. Wii introduced
E3 2008- Armageddon. Wii motion plus introduced. Wii Music. Reggie says Animal crossing was a core game. Massive disappointment. many Wii core gamers selling their Wii.
E3 2010- Tape runs out
http://www.fivedoves.com/letters/march2009/ICG_Tape_runs_out.jpg
