It's supposed to be a review like the Angry Video Game Nerd.

^ I have never heard of that review site.

I thought you wanted to be a games reviewer for an acclaimed game review site.  You sound like an an angry gamer nerd giving a game review.

it's more of a rant than a review.

Does it qualify as a good rant? I don't know. I've been doing this for 2 months straight and have gotten nowhere.

I can't really read that without some paragraphing. I read about two fifths of it and quit. You may have a point there but I don't know. Swearing doesn't make it unreadable but there's too much of it too. Please, paragraph it and I might read it.

Of course you don't care about me not reading it, needless to say.

If you just separated it into 2 paragraphs, it would've read better. I get the AVGN part, but it wasn't funny. Try using more wild analogies.

What's funnier: Sonic the Hedgehog sucks. It sucks beyond imagination. It sucks so fucking much, it would make a black hole explode.

Or.

Sonic the Hedgehog sucks shit. Not even regular shit. Putrid roadkill diarrhea shit.

so neither of those two? let me think. damn why must it be so difficult?

The Sonic sucks beyond imagination was good! Just over exaggerate one detail on the game so people could laugh and agree w/you.