Is from Canada, but for some reason I always think he’s from somewhere in Eastern Europe or Western Asia

Knows that I'm Canadian and I will use lethal force to keep my country from being the 51st state.

Should know that I value the sovereignty of our Canadian neighbors and the sheer thought of them becoming a state makes my blood boil

Is probably like me and waiting for an orange tumor to be removed from America's brain.

Should know that the orange tumor has spread into the blood and nervous system and even when the tumor shrivels the damage to the American body will persist. A good diet of empathy and humility are what my country will require.

Doesn't realize that empathy and humility are all but dead in America. -_-

Doesn’t realize that many everyday Americans are very empathetic and are beyond humiliated by what our country has become

Doesn't know how furious I am by those who didn't vote at all last year.

Is probably very mad at Mark Carney

Is correct, but because of his environmental blunders.