Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but given the subject matter; story time.

Met a new girl at work last night. She's Psychology student who's going to be volunteering with us. For the first time in a long time, my clumsy attempts at interaction actually seems to go okay; it's hard for me to tell if she's genuinely interested or just being polite, but she was smiling, not looking bored or like she was looking for an excuse to get away, actually contributing to the conversation instead of just letting me do all the work. She had to leave the event early to go to Basketball, but before she left we added each other on Facebook.

Not sure what I should do next though. Should I message her tonight after work, is that too desperate, what should I say, etc. When I've been in this situation in the past, I never get a response when I message them the next day or even days later. They're never interested.

I'm also not sure if she's aware I'm autistic. That's been a dealbreaker for women in the past. 

She's also well out of my league; not supermodel material or anything but still a good-looking, intelligent, confident woman who could have her pick of a lot of guys way more attractive than me.

I can't help but hold out some hope but I am wary of building myself up for disappointment here. This kind of opportunity rarely arises in my life.

Well the question here is before you do anything. What is the likelihood you will run into her at work again? How long is the volunteering going to last? If high I wouldn't rush into messaging her. Maybe do one of those wave things on messenger (you know how the stupid thing suggests it when you add a friend, then see if she waves back, and take it form there)

Also don't let her perceived attractiveness put you in a mental negative. most men and I mean like 8/10 bat well above their average.

Well at least its better than all women are evil excuses.

On a serious question, how does that actually work? Like does it never cross your mind? what do you feel/think when you see a couple holding hands or say kissing? Do you even notice it?

Well this is somewhat motivating/reassuring to read. Do you find the social anxiety got easier to deal with/lessened the more you forced yourself to approach women? I'm 32 and have had little luck with women, though I pretty much have no one to blame but myself - it's my own apprehensiveness to approach them, and a fear of coming out of my shell. At the same time, it's a bit frustrating as I haven't exactly had many apparent opportunities or many girls throwing much interest my way either..

I mean, I've had a few "dates" using a loose definition of the term (trust me, they either didn't go well or were uneventful). I've also had a handful of female friends over the years, a few of which I'm pretty sure I could have had a chance with, but I was simply too self-conscious and concerned what they'd think of me, worried I would get mocked or viewed as a weirdo if I flubbed something or didn't measure up to their standards. I was also concerned about messing up our friendship and making things awkward within our "click" as we typically were within mostly the same circle of friends.

I honestly don't particularly view myself as a total wallflower or weirdo or anything. I consider myself a fairly normal, fairly decent looking guy - but for some odd reason just nothing ever really happened with me when it came to women. In school I was in a thick shell of isolation, only hanging to a click of a small circle of dude friends. I don't particularly go out much, and in college and in my work life, I've mostly been around dudes as well. I've always felt I've just always sort of coasted my way through life in a fairly normal manner, and next thing I know, I'm a single 32 year old. Just flew by so fast..

I don't know for sure that I have social anxiety though I'm pretty sure I have at least a moderate case of it, and suspect I may even be slightly on the autism spectrum. Looking into the traits associated with these conditions I seem to exhibit a startling amount of both.. I mean hell, to my confusion, I'll even get irrationally anxious at times just going out with a group of guy friends I haven't seen in awhile.. I'm also quite a big introvert which doesn't exactly lend itself to relationships.

I went through sort of a "poor me" sulking phase in my late teens/early 20s but now I'm really trying to stay positive. Trying to remind myself that when I REALLY feel I'm ready and want a relationship I'll hunker down, kick my ass and go for it. I'm just not 100% at that point yet, but I do feel I'm inching towards it. I don't want to compound being alone for so long with feeling too down.

I'm making it a new years resolution of mine to start to get out there more, be at least a little more social and try and meet women. Whether that means join a class/club, go to bars, or simply hang out with friends more, I gotta start taking the initiative. It might be tough for me at first, but I can't accept this defeatist attitude, even if sometimes I feel shitty. I gotta shake it off.

[this ramble turned out a lot longer than I intended lol, guess I just had to get that out]

Reasons women reject me without words.

1-Not good looking enough

2-you look like a loser or as*hole

3-you look boring

4-I prefer “Race XYZ” guys

5-You look soft (aka not a jock/aggressive/bad boy)

6-You look threatening (aka you might try to hurt me)

7-You’re not wearing designer clothes

8-I want a “certain lifestyle” and you can’t pay for it

This is all before getting to know me. They make numerous assumptions from the first sight or conversation and either accept or reject your presence.

Women expect a lot from a man but will probably be offended if a man expected anything reasonable from a woman such as: education, career path, good family, decent fitness, kind, respectful, financially responsible, not controlling, etc.

http://antifeminismaustralia.com/men-lose-dating-game/

If women want true equality, they also need to take responsibility. Women need to start giving men more attention, compliments, and making the first moves. They need to take some of this burden off men, as the dating game is extremely imbalanced. They need to understand their true dating market value and date within their means.  Women need to be less superficial, such as judging a man on his height or the amount of wealth he has.

Men can also assist by doing the opposite. This means giving women less attention, less compliments, and waiting for them to make the first move. Thankfully the dating market is already starting to correct itself, as more men are getting fed up and going MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).

http://antifeminismaustralia.com/men-lose-dating-game/

In the old days, dating was much easier for the average man. The only thing a man had to do was be employed. He didn’t have to have muscular body, be extremely wealthy, or have a luxury car. Women were happy enough to have an average looking man who was employed. As most of today’s women are now employed, they are seeking more than just an employed man.