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Forums - General Discussion - Tonight W/ Star: Doing It. Yes, That

VGPolyglot on 21 May 2017
Insidb said:
You literally can't fuck this up; just do what makes you and her comfortable and don't worry about the rest.

We all go through this, sooner or later, so it's totally normal.

To be yourself is all that you can do.

Well, he's planning on fucking someone, so I guess he can kind of "fuck" it up.



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Insidb on 21 May 2017
VGPolyglot said:
Insidb said:
You literally can't fuck this up; just do what makes you and her comfortable and don't worry about the rest.

We all go through this, sooner or later, so it's totally normal.

To be yourself is all that you can do.

Well, he's planning on fucking someone, so I guess he can kind of "fuck" it up.

Don't say that lol!



binary solo on 21 May 2017
StarOcean said:

How's everyone tonight? Feels dead so I thought I'd put in some more personal shizz here. 

Anyway, doing it. Yeah, sex. Alright, I'mma be straight with y'all: I'm pretty asexual. My desire for sex is very very minimal. And that can be an issue and will be one soon. 

So... in the past I've had gf's who wanted sex and my lack of wanting to do it, obviously, disappointed them. Well now I'm with the one I think I'll marry someday and she wants to have sex. She's wanted it for a while, months, and is getting frusterated with my lack of... well me doing it XD she's never had sex herself and nor have I -me for more obvious reasons. But I do have a few worries before I do that

 1. I want to make sure I don't get her pregnant. Her and I cannot support a kid just yet and the worst fear I have is getting her pregnant and dealing with that. I mean I know condoms are supposed to work but they don't always... and I'd want her to take a pill but she's still financially dependent on her parents so they'd know if she bought any. Most might say it's not a big issue but from what she tells me her family is extremely fertile -pretty much always have kids on their first try. 

2. I honestly don't know if I'll even do it right XD I don't watch porn or anything so idk how this shit is supposed to work!

3. Idk how the hell you put on a condom. I'm sure there's instructions in the box, but still

4. I'm afraid I won't care for it and it'll be a chore. Some of you may be callin' bullshit on this one. But I really have low desire for sex. I'm fucking weird XD plus it's harder to fake an orgasm when youre a guy x.x

Does your gf understand that you are asexual and what this means long term? Assuming of course you are asexual and not just have a bit of an aversion due to subconscious anxiety. 

You may want to think about the long term with this woman because a mis-match in this area can ultimately lead to a breakdown in the relationship. Are you OK with the idea of your wife going out and getting her sexual needs satisifed in other ways? And even if so, there's a high risk that she would eventually leave to be with a man who will satisfy those needs.

Is caving to the pressure and agereeing to sex the right thing for the relationship? If you talk to her and make her understand what being asexual is and means in the long run (which for most asexual people would mean only having sex when you want to make babies), then it will save problems down the track, that having sex with her now may just end up setting things up for problems down the track.

My son's friend is asexual and she has a boyfriend, they're not doing it and haven't done it (according to my son who chaperoned them on a camping trip at the request of her mother), and it will be interesting to see how that goes. I don't give it a big chance of lasting because a mis-match in level of sexual interest is quite a big thing. 

I hope things work out, but I'm not certain the step you are about to take (or have taken?) is necessarily going to be the right thing for the relationship long term. The mechanics of sex is pretty straight forward, but that is ultimately not the issue. Just make sure she orgasms, so be totally attentive to her needs and giving her pleasure. Indeed there's nothing wrong with you not cuming if you don't want to. Lord knows women have been used to going without orgasm down the ages.

My first time was on my wedding night. There's nothing wrong with waiting.



“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” - Bertrand Russell

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

Jimi Hendrix

 

binary solo on 21 May 2017
Hiku said:


3. Yeah, you'll probably be fidling with that for a while. I'd recommend buying yourself a pack and testing them out in private first.

Test it on a banana if you don't want to do what's necessary to get an erection. If you can put it on a banana without tearing it then you will be fine.



“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” - Bertrand Russell

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

Jimi Hendrix