Let´s go!

I can totally see this happening, but Nintendo likes to make some weird marketing choices, so will have to see

I definitely think you'll see something like this from 3rd party manufacturers. I don't think you'll see anything like this from Nintendo. I think Nintendo will treats Joy-Cons like 3DS faceplates. Purely aesthetic. Also, I think you underestimate how many people will be fine with just the grip. It's the most urgonimically standard "weird" controller they've ever had because of it. People tolerated the N64 controller if you remember.

Hope I'm wrong. I hate the button config of the Joy-Cons and pro controller as is.

Doesn't that last point pretty much defeat this hope, considering it's a Nintendo console?

Well not that many people tolerated the 64, it did only sell in the mid 30s :P .  And I am sure many will be content with the Grip in the sense of it being a good start and will replace it at a later date, as opposed to the Wii U where many bought a Pro controller or something similar immediately.  As for Nintendo themselves, the only one I could see is a Gamecube one to go with Smash 5 or some such since that's the audience that would buy these the most avidly.  But honestly, if Nintendo wants to focus on aesthetics, I am down with that.  One missed opportunity with Wii U was bundles with aesthetic designs for them.  I hope to see more custom looking consoles, like the 3DS got.  I mean, the fan mockups floating around look freaking awesome.  

Damn. Foiled again. 

I think they went pretty far with the different colours and themes of the 3ds, 3ds xl, 2ds, new 3ds/xl. The  different colours of the Wii remote and the gamecube controller. And of course with the amiibos. Easy money. 

Not to get picky about it, but I think you've been wrong on everything regarding the NX.

You said it would be a Hard Drive based home system with second screen play and digital only. You said there would be a NX DS with dual screens. 

It's like Nintendo literally read your posts and did the exact opposite, lol. Not only is the system not digital only, but you can't even use a HDD. Second screen gaming? R.I.P. They even block the screen in dock mode for almost no reason, it's like they did it just to spite people who like dual screen gaming ;). 

Nintendo is gonna milk those Joy Con accessories like it's 2007 Wii-days. There's gonna be every type of Joy Con except one that connects to a person's genitals (only because Nintendo won't allow it).

Retro Joy Cons are certainly happening. I'd bet money on it. Nintendo re-released the GameCube controller for the Wii U. I think in fact this was probably one of the big complaints from Nintendo's "business suit" department regarding the Wii U ... accessorie sales for it were crap. Nintendo made an ungodly amount of money selling a bunch of plastic shit on the Wii, I'm sure they would like to get some of that revenue back. 

This will likely happen. It's almost a given.