sitting, of course.  leaning to one side with a leg and cheek slightly raised. 

how the hell do ya do a halfway decent job standing??? damn cheeks are together when yer standing

one last thing.  BABY WIPES.  always finish with baby wipes.  Cuz there's "clean"....and then there is CLEAN

One thing i hate about American toilets is the dreaded toilet water backsplash. The water is high enough for it to happen every once in a while.

I would say that it happens once every 2 years or something

Every American KNOWS what i'm talking about. People can act like they have no clue what i'm talking about but we all know that they aint fooling the Chad Daddy

..when the water splashes back and hits your ass with an UNBELIEVABLE direct hit

There are only a few who know about the baby wipes ;)

Baby wipes lol I've never heard of people using them xD (aside from babies of course)

pbroy said: I don't wipe, I dab. You end up with a cleaner butt, becuase you're not smearing shit everywhere. You also end up with less rashes. I sit close to the end of the toilet seat. I lift my left butt cheak into the air as my right butt cheak rests on the toilet seat. This allows more room for my hand to get around. I then get 2 pieces of 2-ply toilet paper and fold it in half. Then with my left hand I dab my butthole. Use more toilet paper as necessary. I never use my right hand, because that's the hand I eat with. It's also the hand you use to shake people's hands. You all should try this dabbing technique. I've suggested it to a few people already and they couldn't thank me enough about how it saved their buttholes.

This seems like something you would read on WikiHow.

Good job, good job.

Standing. Not sure why, but i just do.

What the Hell kind of debates do you have with friends and how much liquor is involved usually?

So I guess we are going to keep last Friday night secret? Yeah, I know we were both drunk and you probably don't remember it. 

I thought the proper way to take a dump was to work up an erection so that your penis won't touch the toilet rim. My mind is now blown!

LOL what???  I think that only applies to people that have a porn star sized penis (hung like a horse) which is less then 10% of the general population.