some shit happened. The end.

Once upon a time...

Whole story:

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away there lived a very rich man who owned several pets. One of these pets was a hamster named Adolf. Adolf was quite the hamster, he would always be top of the class and captain of all the teams he tried out for. Then a big fat plummer viscously came and jumped on poor Adolf's head and killed him.

The hamster's owner, Dick Blower, then proceeded to look for the plumber, seeking revenge. He recieved a tip-off that a man named Luigi, who was also in the plumbing business, may know the killer's whereabouts. Unfortunately Luigi was indisposed at the moment as he was undergoing an operation to become a woman named Edna. The operation took a turn for the worst, Luigi bled to death. He had to find the killer so he broke into Luigi's house.

In Luigi's house, Dick Blower found indisputable evidence that bananaking had been sleeping with adolfs mother, Matilda, whom was a rather large bulbous woman filled with great joy. The fact that his hamster's mother was a human, and that she was found in Luigi's house, seemed to indicate.....eh I'm rambling now, aren't I. I really came here to talk to you about some delicious onions I found....They then ate the delicious onions and had sex all night, forgetting about Adolf's killer and living happily ever after.

Meanwhile...The man who killed Adolf, Billy, stood outside the window, watching...always watching... He could tell that bananaking was much, much better at sex than Dick Blower. As it turns out Billy was obsessed with Matilda and was always spying on her and sharing her interests. Currently, he longed for bananaking, and to feel banana's soft lips against his own one final time before mutilating his manhood with a fan.

Billy snapped out of his daydream and interrupted Dick and Matilda's coitus in order to reveal his real identity as Mario. Mario skipped away into the distance, cackling, holding Adolf's corpse in his hands. Meanwhile at Dick Blower's hotel room some shit happened.

The end.

lmao updated the OP with the story Adolf the Hamster lol Such a lovely fairytale :P haha

a man named Jackie Bravo crashed in a land far far away.

at the scene of the crash bravo found a ridiculously hairy man sunbathing while completely naked

and decided it might be a good idea to secretly watch him for a bit.

Despite being a straight male, Bravo found himself being strangely aroused by this mysterious man's hairy nipples.

His mental state quickly decayed. With youthful rage he ran up to the man and stomped him out.

Once he was finished bludgeoning the manbear, a thirst like no man has ever known seized upon him . Looking around...

He found a refrigerator. It's power supply was the sun and it shined in all of it's glory.