I completely agree with Chunli. I do my best to avoid drama online and offline. I'm not into fighting or arguing. I stand up for myself, or what I believe in when the need arises, but I'm not mean to people. I believe you can express your opinion without offending anyone, or being mean. 

And I think when it comes to online, people just say what they want because they don't think it matters. I think some forget that behind these usernames and avatars are real people, with real feelings. It might just be words, but they can hurt. I always try to choose my words carefully online and offline.

I think some people are taking it and having a field day, but I don't think that it has to be much more than that. There's still lots of good people here. I have stayed out of most of the topics that gravitate around certain stuff... I just don't have time to get involved in debates. Most of the time I would not even post a thread like this. But I know all too well letting it get underneath your skin... thankfully my skin is much thicker now than it used to be. If I really hate how something makes me feel, I tend to get turned off to it for a while and leave... and by time I forget about it and stop caring, much of it has blown over.

Breathers are really good to take. That's why I wrote this topic. Some people think it's unnecessary probably, but I don't think so... It's important to remember the type of environment you're in and to occasionally take breaks when necessary. Some people think it speaks to their strength to stand up and put up with the agitation hours upon hours end, but you spend so much time caring about it, you forget why it is you came to here in the first place... and and your discussions are not better for it.

I still recommend people here, which is why I try to be active at least in the female part of the site. I enjoy the Japan sales threads and there are a bunch of people here who I have gotten acquainted with that I find interesting. It's mutual (I think). But if it isn't, it's OK. They did me a favor having an interesting conversation... maybe at least that is mutual.

I don't try to hold too much of a grudge. God knows what makes people do the things they do... I've done the whole social experiment thing. I learned we all suffer and cope pretty much the same way... we fall into the same traps and sometimes we need to shake ourselves out of own crappy habits and change the way we think to change the results of our actions. Just like life.

I feel the same way. If I do take a break from the forum it will at least add more time to working with my new tablet.

Pure gold, both of you. I like your approach. I'm much too out there to stay too far from the curb. I like to get out there with everyone and engage sometimes... but I'm like you, I'm not really into the fighting or arguing... I also I don't want to feel like I preach people what to do... I try to listen more now. So thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I agree, people are same offline and online... but you have to admit, some people act completely crazy once you put a computer in front of them. They turn it into a weapon. Kinda like people and their cars. I don't necessarily feel too sorry for them because they're aware of it, but I feel bad for the people who don't know how to better cope with being on the receiving end... a lot of times, people just need to learn to walk away. You would not take your car and try to run people off the road who just flipped you off because you're angry, so why try taking it that far here?... it's the 'safest' way to act out another form of aggression without real consequences... but as you mentioned, there are consequences when people get hurt even though you really can't see it at all. That's why we have to be careful what environment we are in and take breaks or leave entirely when absolutely necessary... can't change the world, but you can change your reaction to it.

hmm, off-topic... I still have to finish that pie... I've been busy with some projects LOL.

Yes! I was going to say... you could also just isolate yourself to the art thread lolol. Well... you could post in 'friendly' threads like that and break it up between the potential toxic ones. That's also what I do.

Yeah I went through that stage when I was still trying to understand it all. It took a while, but I got over it. It's just cyclical trying to understand certain people's actions. My own personal thought on this...I think some people do not want to be understood. That's the whole basis of their 'identity' online... they want to make up some person they can't actually fully become/realize in real life. You will eventually understand there is a problem... but they won't get beyond it to show you the actual person because they won't make it available for you. I used to find that fascinating, because empathic side told me... oh this person, maybe they had some issue or thought process that made them this way. Maybe there was history involved. I've seen there is a difference. So no, for me now, they are the least interesting... they throw up the wall on purpose, to distract you. They do not want to be understood.

But I can definitely see why you feel the way you do. I do my psychological brainstorming through online articles and science journals now. It's just so much easier... to see the different facets and psychologies involved. People are so complex... but yet I feel like certain people end up making it to be the most base. They have no other incentive but to act out on you whatever they're feeling... it's like they use you to hide what they don't want you to see. It's frustrating when you realize they actually have nothing of worth to share with you. I've been participating in communities, moderating, and even administrating since my very early teens... I feel like I've seen enough of peculiar human behavior to care anymore. It just gets wearying trying to understand people who don't have anything to offer but to want to bring you into their personal complexes.

I appreciate your thoughts. Thank you for coming to share.

In the end it is less about understanding other people but understanding myself.

Aah. Makes sense then :)

but it always helps to observe other peole to realize my own faults and weaknesses