Oh god... Well, the last time I had a klondike bar was at a company picnic. Does that make things better or worse?

Better I suppose?  We have something like the link you provided in Austin called Tiff's Treats.  Pretty decent deal to get ice cream sandwich there considering each cookie is 99 cents each.  So the ice cream is free on their ice cream sandwich considering it cost 1.99.  Kind of expensive cookie place (better deals on dozen yet still expensive) but they are pretty good.

I would beat a kitten to death with a shovel for a Klondike bar.

Now that is dedication.  Would you also club a baby seal to death?

If I was paying for gas and the freezer next to the cash register had Klondike Bars, and I was hungry, and it was hot outside. I'd buy one.

That's what I'd do for a Klondike Bar.

Yes. I would go clubbing with a whole damned herd/pack/gaggle/whatever of baby seals for a Klondike bar.

I'd have sex with the guy in my icon for one.......................

This whole time I thought I needed drugs in order to coax girls into having sex.

I would go to my local store armed with my weener and take what is mine!!!

Never seen a Klondike bar, Never tasted a Klondike Bar.

What would I do for one? Perhaps go to where they are selling and possibly buy it.