Hehe, funny article I thought. The Sony one is hilarious, totally what you would expect on this forum

Microsoft: My Mac Is Broken!



First up, we called Microsoft's tech support line to complain about our Mac. It took a little doing to find a phone number: Microsoft's support page isn't exactly what you call simple. But we finally got somebody on the line.

Microsoft: Hello, this is James. I understand you're having some trouble?

ZUG: Hi, yeah. I turn on my Mac and I keep getting some error. Error ... um ... 100.

Microsoft: Does this happen when you open a Microsoft product, or just in general?

ZUG: No, I don't own any Microsoft products. Just in general.

Microsoft: (Sudden, muffled laughter) OK, sir, well, error 100 is pretty common. Do you have the App Store open?

ZUG: Yep. I was trying to get Angry Birds.

Microsoft: Yeah, that's a fun game. What it is, is that Apple has a new Terms of Service in iTunes to agree to.

ZUG: Again?

Microsoft: (More muffled laughter) Yes, sir, again. If you just open iTunes and click agree in the popup, that should solve the problem.

ZUG: Will you wait while I try it?

Microsoft: Sure!

(We do what he says)

ZUG: It worked!

Microsoft: It's a pretty common problem.

ZUG: Thanks a lot!

Microsoft: You're welcome, and thanks for calling.

Microsoft not only had a sense of humor, but they actually solved the problem.

CUSTOMER SERVICE DICKINESS: 2


Apple: My PC Has Crashed!



So, how about Apple? Would they return the favor?

Apple Customer Service: Hi, I'm Anthony. How can I assist you today?

ZUG: Hi, I'm having an issue with my computer. The screen keeps turning blue.

Apple: Do you mean it's just a solid wall of blue, or there's a bluish tint or...

ZUG: No, the screen goes blue and it says ... hold on ... An error has occurred, blah blah blah ... here it is: Error Zero E, Zero One Six F, BFF Nine B Three D Four.

Apple: Ummmm, sir, are you using a Mac?

ZUG: No, I've got a Dell.

Apple: Oh, OK, that explains a lot. (Wee bit of sarcasm.) Just hit Control-Alt-Delete, sir, and it'll reset.

ZUG: Will it save first?

Apple: No, sir, I'm sorry, it won't.

ZUG: Is there any way I can save?

Apple: No, sir, what you're looking at is called The Blue Screen of Death, and it means your computer needs to be rebooted.

ZUG: Because I just finished my term paper...

Apple: Oh, ow. Sorry. It's probably gone. It might have autosaved before your computer crashed, though.

ZUG: Augh! OK, thank you. Maybe I should take my friend's advice and install Unix.

Apple: I'd try that out before you commit to it, sir. Have a nice day!

ZUG: Thanks, you too.

So, Apple customer service is about what you'd expect. Helpful, but maybe a wee bit snide.

CUSTOMER SERVICE DICKINESS: 3


Sony: My Xbox Won't Work!



Finally, we went deep into the console wars: how would Playstation customer support feel about supporting their arch-rival, the Xbox?

PlayStation: Hello, I'm Kirk and I understand you have a technical issue?

ZUG: Hi, yes, I'm looking at my console and I'm seeing three red lights with a flashing fourth one?

PlayStation: Oh, you're an Xbox user. Yeah, your system is toast.

ZUG: But isn't it just...?

PlayStation: Nope, it's bricked. That's an Xbox error code, it means that your system has internal problems. You'll have to call Microsoft and send it in.

ZUG: So where do we send it to you?

PlayStation: No, sir, you send it to Microsoft. We support the PlayStation3 and PSP. Although I'd certainly encourage you to switch.

ZUG: But didn't you guys have a network problem for, like, a month? I heard something about that on the news.

PlayStation: We did, sir. But unlike Microsoft, we actually fixed it.

ZUG: This has been happening for a while?

PlayStation: Dude, do you know how many calls I get like this? At least two or three a freaking month. We used to get, like, hundreds. Microsoft build a whole bunch of lemons and they won't just recall them.

ZUG: So this will happen again?

PlayStation: Probably, like, three times. My roommate has had to send his in twice. I'm serious about switching, sir, we offer the same services like Netflix, and...

ZUG: I'll think about it. Thanks!

PlayStation: You're welcome and have a nice day.

The Sony rep was polite, but still kind of a jerk. Points for believing in the product enough to try to convince us to switch.

CUSTOMER SERVICE DICKINESS: 6


Xbox: My Playstation Won't Work!



How would Xbox fare in comparison? We had to press zero four times to get a person ... and then the fun really started.

Xbox: Hi, this is Robert, how can I help you?

ZUG: Hi, my Playstation controller won't work.

Xbox: (Five seconds of silence) Just to confirm, you said Playstation, right?

ZUG: Right.

Xbox: You are aware we're a completely different company, right?

ZUG: Well, the games are all the same so I figured...

Xbox: Uhhhh, yeah. We're not the same. You need to call their support number.

ZUG: Do you know what that is?

Xbox: (Beat) 1-800-867-5309.

ZUG: That sounds familiar.

Xbox: Oh, they've had it on TV a lot, since their network went down. It's their main support number.

ZUG: Thanks!

Yes, the Xbox guys really did give us the number for Jenny. And for that one move, we will award them the coveted Crown of Dicks.

CUSTOMER SERVICE DICKINESS: 10

http://www.zug.com/live/88488/In-Search-of-the-Unfriendliest-Technical-Support.html

I love the first Microsoft one. Even manages to fix the problem. Dunno why the dickiness is 2 for that though, I would have said 1.

Someone want to fill me in on what 'jenny' is? Jenny Craig?

Microsoft has excellent customer service. At least in my personal experience whenever I wanted to inquire about something with my 360/Live service. Despite the situation (in the issue above), the Microsoft representative still helped the guy when he could of easily told him to call Apple customer care.

Sony customer care is just awful in comparison. I swear, the couple of times I called for something they were so cold and heartless.

PC support > Console support.

Actually I am not surprised by the PlayStation and Xbox support. But having Microsoft explain how to fix your Mac and Apple explain how to reboot the computer. That is sort of unexpected they went way beyond the call of duty. I was hoping to see what Nintendo's response was if they were asked about PS3, I bet it would have been hilarious or a similar response to Sony and Xbox's support.

I had to call Sony for customer service on my Bravia TV they weren't rude but the cost of sending them my TV and getting it repaired was more then buying a new one. It appeared that Sony had no interest in helping me at all. I have called Nintendo in the past and always got great service. Microsoft gave me great service the first time my console Red Ringed well except the fact that they never sent the box to me. I had to re-call like two weeks later and arrange for the box. The problem with Microsoft came when my new refurbished 360 froze constantly I called them back and said my new 360 they had just sent me was constantly freezing. They asked me which games I had noticed freezing in. I told them Halo3, Halo:ODST , Forza2 and FullAuto. The guy then told me that it was a software issue and that most of the games I had noticed freezing in were made by Microsoft Game Studios. The guy gave me a support number for MGS and told me that they would replace the software for me. I called MGS and they told me it was a hardware issue and that I should call the main Xbox support line back. So I spent like two or three weeks going back and fourth. Microsoft refused to replace my 360, luckily Slim came out shortly after and I replaced it.

Also I had a problem with my Zune and called the support line. But when I did I got told Microsoft had discontinued the Zune in Canada and they were no longer supporting it. I asked for help and they told me to call the American support number. I did and the American support number helped me. But fact is Zune was a Microsoft product and the Canadian branch of Microsoft should have been able to answer the question whether or not the product was discontinued.

But to be honest the worst customer service I have ever had is my credit card company.

I noticed on my bill I was paying for a service I didn't want. I called them up and after being on hold for like an hour and a half I got through to someone. Told them I wanted to cancel the service I was transferred and put on hold again for another hour or so before getting transferred again and on hold again. Finally I talked to someone about removing the service they asked me if I wanted to increase my coverage I told them "No I just want to get rid of this service" they said Ok before offering more services I kept telling the lady no. But she kept on she was like "Oh and would you like this service" and I said no "How about this service" and I was like no. After like 15 minutes of her trying to sell me services I finally told her "Leave my account the hell alone" and hung up.

My next bill came and I was paying not only for the service I had cancelled it was upgraded and a few other services had been added to my bill. I then called my credit card company again and complained. Got a similar experience however with my next bill the services had been dropped. Since then I have had problems but my phone battery died on me twice while on hold at different times. They leave you on hold for up to 2 hours. "Were experiencing high call volumes" well then you need more phones!

In the end I hate customer service, I prefer emailing you don't have to stay on the line for hours at a time. You get a response that you can reference in the future. Problem is you can't deal with your credit card company over email, you have to phone.

Cheers for the answer, I kind of typed the first bit, then I thought 'hey, maybe it means jenny craig', but still wasn't sure.

I might try this when I'm bored (ringing the wrong tech support) will post transcripts if I do.

Call nintendo
Guy : Hello Nintendo.
Nintendo : Hi-hi!
Guy : i've played the 3DS and now my eyes are bleeding and i can't stop it, and my kid has a sudden seizure , what should i do?
Nintendo : IMPOSSIBRU!, you are Not praying wid Powah!

the sony one was the funniest.

here's one for ya. pure fiction joke only.

for the first 5 yrs the 360 was on the market Mike called MS customer service because his system caught RROD but the line was busy.

so everytime his 360 caught RROD he would google an online search for answers and it would always lead him to youtube.

so for 5 yrs youtube was technical support.

heading into the 360's 6th yr out MS released a slim model, but Mike didn't want to upgrade, but he would soon have no choice as his console would flash red and orange for some reason, so he called MS technical support and after 6 yrs he finally got through.

heres the conversation:

MS: hello my name is Lind and thank you for calling MS customer support. how may i help you?

Mike: yea my system just flashed a red and orange light. wht should i do?

MS: buy a new one cause the CPU is fried.

Mike: wht?

MS: yes the processor fried that means the system will no longer run.

Mike: but wait can't i send it in for repair?

MS: no cause we no longer make the components for the early model 360's. is there anything else i can help you with?

Mike: you know i've been calling for 5 yrs, and all i got was a busy signal. wht the hell was going on up there?

MS: well we did have problems with 360 so we received a lot of calls concerning the situation so our lines may have been a little busy.

Mike: alittle busy! for 5 yrs? man thats BS. so your telling me that if i want to play 360 i'd have to buy a new one?

MS: yes sr. we just released a new slim model version of......

Mike yea i know. i watch'd E3.

MS: did you enjoy the show?

Mike: no not really!

MS: ok Sr. is there anything else i can help you with?

Mike: yes! be sure to have more Phone lines open next time.

MS: ok i'll make the recommendation to my boss, but i doubt we'll have this problem again.

Mike: yea right.

MS ok then have nice day.

"ZUG: Hi, my Playstation controller won't work.

Xbox: (Five seconds of silence) Just to confirm, you said Playstation, right?"