The F Files

Good evening, it’s PI Radishhead speaking. Over the past few weeks, I have been conducting investigations into the habits of a few groups of people on VGChartz. There are three groups, and each of them seems to worship one of the three main console manufacturers; Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony. It has become clear to me that the name that these individuals are commonly referred to as raises tension on the forum, and so I am just going to refer to them as “MF”, “NF” and “SF”. My investigations have revealed that each of these groups of people, although similar in some respects, have different traits depending on their deity of choice. It is these differences that I will be outlining in this report. Of course, this is a completely opinion-based report, and is not meant to be considered serious in any way. Please may none of these groups take offense from the material written below.

The “MF”

Elusive – These people are often only seen when the matter specifically concerns them, or an opportunity has arisen to put down the other two groups. Otherwise, you could be hard-pressed trying to find these characters.

Coordinated – Once their territory is attacked, they tend to work together to neutralise the threat more efficiently than the other two groups. Since they are often attacked from both sides, it seems natural that they have developed this instinct.

Martyrs – Over the course of my study, it seems that the “MF”s are the ones most likely to suffer a blow from the banhammer for expressing their beliefs. Their aggressive fighting style may unnerve the moderation force of the forum, and be considered a threat to the peace.

The “NF”

Unavoidable – In contrast to the “MF”s, this group can be found all over the forum. They may often be found trying to slip a conversation about their deity of choice into a topic that has nothing to do with them. They seem to be much more comfortable in the forum environment.

Defeatist – Despite supposedly being in a position where they can look down on the competition, the “NF”s are very paranoid. They are always doomed, no matter how promising the news. I assume that relentless attacks from the “SF”s have caused them to start criticising their own deity. Most likely to back away from an argument.

Cunning – This group knows exactly what annoys the other two groups, and they see nothing wrong with practicing their techniques on a wide variety of people, even towards those in their own group. This can also see them as being the most annoying group of people to encounter in an argument, because their arsenal of sarcasm and reverse psychology is a handful on a forum.

The “SF”

Bold – If a member of the “SF” sees an opportunity to make a point, they will take it. While reading a pro-“MF” thread, you can always feel the presence of one of the “SF” members waiting to pounce and tear their hope to shreds. Tales of bold comebacks keep morale amongst this group very high.

Aggressive – Their deity’s fall from the top has caused them to adopt a much more aggressive attitude towards their rivals, which is in great contrast to the calmer appearance to that of the “NF”. They are the least likely of the groups to take a middle ground, and their line of thinking is like that of a Western film – there are the goodies and the baddies, and the good guys will always win in the end.

Stubborn – This group can’t afford to let their guard down, since they are often seen by the “NF”s as their main targets. In an attempt to become protected from mind-games, the members of the “SF” have learnt to block out most forms of criticism towards their chosen deity. Due to the strong belief that the “NF”s don’t deserve their recent success, they convince each other that the story will be different next time.

Patriotic – You can’t miss a member of the “SF” when you see one. A pro-“SF” thread will be filled with “SF” related avatars and signatures. A group of them can form an intimidating sight for a lone-member trying to confront them. 

The point of my investigation? To show that these groups are warring over nothing! We are all gamers, but we needn't fall into these groups of people just to try and feel secure. We should be united, not split! It's important that we can recognise the ideas that each of these companies brings to the gaming business, and that we all benefit from each other. 

Wonder what I fall under, since I support all three with randomness.  However I do hate the SF and NF these days. 

Ya, because you are  so special to be in a group by yourself! Has anyone even responded to your last thread! :P 

I only know about X Files. Sorry.

War never ends.

The reason we are always doomed is because there are actually three types of NF: Casual, Hardcore (wish Wii was a 360) and Worshippers of Malstrom. Nintendo can't please all the groups so whatever decision they take, 2/3 of the fans will think it's the end of the Nintendo they love.

I cannot confirm nor deny that this section of the report was based around you.