So 'election' time is upon us. For most of us it's insignificant because we live in a safe Con/Lab seat and so we get a chance to vote for the Lib Dems to stop the party we hate the most from winning. Woohooo democracy. In the past we had 2 choices but 'teh debatez' have shown we have 3. In truth we have 4.

Luckily, because we're English, we have an ace in the pack. We have a Monarch. Somebody above politics who lives to serve us.

So....how about it?

Step 1. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II decides that parliament was a bad idea and has become too corrupt. The politicians are a bunch of shits and executes most of them for treason. HM accepts that we aren't living in the middle ages anymore and the English aren't to be 'governed' by ANYONE!

Step 2. Income tax is abolished. VAT is capped at 20%. HM will use VAT to provide a group of people that will protect us internationally, lets call them the Armed Forces, and a domestic force that we'll call the police.

Step 3. There isn't one. That's it, you're on your own. Army defends the nation, the police protect us at home. That means that drugs and 'prostitution' are legal so the police have plenty of time to protect us.

In short, we have 'the rights of Englishmen' (you have them too Scotland) and we don't need a bunch of commies or racists or anyone else telling us what we can and can't do. It served us well in the past and it worked out pretty damn well for the 13 colonies.

We didn't create the modern world just to sit back and join them in the rat race. We've become lazy, it's time for us to teach the rest of the world how to live again.

Who's with me?

PS
Happy St George's Day.

Prince Charles. Therefore your plan sucks.

I wouldn't like to be seen near half the Royals let alone be represented by them.

But I prefer the idea to the likely hung parliament so i support your proposition!

I'm not talking about 'the Royals' I'm talking about the Monarch.

They're not there to represent you, they're there to protect your rights as an Englishman.

I don't want a hung parliament, I want a hanged parliament.

Over the years I have realised that been an Englishman leaves me with no rights (less than that of a piece of sh*t). Their protection doesn't seem to be working...

What you need is to revive the corpse of Napoleon III, bring him to Britain, then install him. He knew how to get shit done.

That's the difference between a constitutional monarchy and an absolute monarchy.

Why on Earth would we choose some Italian tyrant when we have about 100 great leaders of our own and a few of your founding fathers to choose from?

He tried to conquer Mexico and failed. That's... something.

Richard the Lionheart. Not only will he do everything you named, he'll also conquer Europe.