Hey, remember a couple days ago when I promised to expand on my take on 2018 in gaming? Well I'm finally getting around to it this evening. Sorry about the delay. 'Twas Christmas-related, ya know how it goes.
I remember 2018 as the year when the Switch started getting a TON of indie games and I quickly amassed an extensive library of such ports, including a number I'd missed before, like Hyper Light Drifter and Transistor. In terms of actual new games though, Celeste was really something special.
Celeste is a puzzle-platforming game about navigating depression and anxiety; conditions that I've lived with varying degrees of for the vast majority of my life and were acutely pronounced at the time with the passing of my mom months earlier. In the game, main protagonist Madeline has set out to climb the mysterious Celeste Mountain in order to regain self-esteem. Along the way, she meets a range of characters who symbolize various challenges she's confronting along the way: the spirit of the mountain itself, her social anxiety, and, perhaps most significantly of all, a manifestation of her own depression in the form of a doppleganger the internet has dubbed Badeline. Badeline, who claims to represent the "pragmatic part" of Madeline, tries repeatedly to stop her and discourage her progression in cruel ways, hurting others around her in the process.
At one point, Madeline gains enough confidence from a conversation with a delightful fellow mountain climber Theo who's seeking direction in life to confront Badeline and reveals her intention to abandon her...but, in a catastrophic turn of events, Badeline throws her aaaaaaallllllllll the way back down the mountain, forcing her to start her climb all over again. The plunge is such a long one it seems like it's never going to end. I felt my heart sink so far in that moment. It's an event meant to symbolize a relapse. The reality is that Madeline cannot rid herself of her depression. It's part of her very being, not something she can simply discard at will. But when she learns to accept Badeline, they're able to forge a beautiful, loving relationship and help one-another. Badeline agrees to help our protagonist finish her climb in an especially touching stage of the game that brims with both honesty and hope.
The game is not subtle about its message, but it is very honest and deeply caring, in large part, I think, because it reflected the lead developers' own concurrent experience with depression and anxiety rather than the consultation of experts on the subject or something.
BPD defines much of my own struggle for mental wellness. It's almost always caused by childhood trauma and what it feels like to me is like being 75% of a person. I never feel completely whole. It's like there's always a part of me that's supposed to be there, but just isn't. It just never got developed, so I never fully grew up. I need someone else there to fill in the gaps in my personality. That's what it feels like anyway, and it's a condition that doesn't lend itself to much self-confidence, though it can and has led me to some pretty reckless risk-taking for lack of a sense of purpose or direction. Depressive tendencies are a natural outgrowth. The toughest part of it all though is accepting the reality that you can't just go back to the way you were before, but have to learn to live with and manage where you are now. You have to forgive yourself for being depressed and (the real challenge) learn to love and accept your whole self, not just the pretty parts. Easier said (and portrayed in a video game) than done, but Celeste is a journey that marries its challenges to this thematic direction in such an organic way that it magnificently captures the feel of Madeline's climb toward better mental health. Accomplishing things you doubt your ability to will indeed shift your perception of what you can do. And then the next day you may feel like you've fallen all the way back to square one and just want to give up. But the fact is that that good day you had is progress!
Celeste is also outstanding just as a game too. The challenge is extremely stiff, geared to platforming veterans (which I would shamelessly consider myself), but also fair. The controls are kept simple and manageable and are also the most precise that I've ever felt in a platforming game before. Design-wise, I'd characterize Celeste, in fact, as the best-made platforming game I've ever played before. Best of all, the challenge consistently derives from a combination of puzzle-solving and actual platforming. The game doesn't recourse to cheaper options like just throwing more enemies at you as you progress. In fact, there are almost no enemy characters in this game at all...
There's also just something I find highly endearing about its adorable art style and delightfully retro-inspired graphics and ambient chiptunes-inspired soundtrack. It all makes for a delightfully comforting presentation.
The broader list of my 2018 favorites looks like this:
2. God of War
3. A Case of Distrust
4. Return of the Obra Dinn
5. The Messenger
6. Donut County
7. Florence
8. Deltarune (Chapter 1)
9. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
The others here though don't quite make my personal top 50 favorites even though they're all very good games. Well, to be fair, Return of the Obra Dinn and God of War have in the past at least and fall close to that territory for me still.
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