Your hands may be a bit smaller than average, but not really so small that most people would take notice.
If somebody does spend a few seconds noticing the size of somebody else´s hands, they usually won´t distinguish finger size from over-all size.
You clearly have a psychological issue about this, so citing your own thought patterns about other people´s hands
is just not reliable source for how most people notice or think about other peoples hands. Clearly your insecurity about this issue
is what is driving you to notice other people´s hands so much (just to negatively compare yourself to them), but most people don´t do so.
I honestly couldn´t tell you the hand size of most people I know, but I also don´t think much about most people´s height.
I´m average height myself, so while I notice extremely tall or short heights, it mostly doesn´t have much weight to keep my interest.
I understand people who are especially short might notice that alot more. But like your hand issue, they are paying it more attention than people in general.
I would actually second the other comment about diet and excercise, to focus on other meaningful things about your life and body.
Being engaged in constructive project is good for one´s mentality, and you can achieve realistic progress in steps.
Since you are so focused on your hands, I might even wonder if it could help to do some strength training of your hand/fingers.
Rock climbers do that to train for holding onto tiny edges, but there is variety of low price devices, either metal spring or rubber-based (cheapest).
Those can fit in a jacket pocket and you can do it several times a day, although starting off you don´t want to over-do it.
If you have the strongest grip of any non-rock climber, that would be significant positive image to replace the negative one you have developed.
Also, don´t only focus so much on your self.
It sounds like not only do you have insecurity romantically, but in terms of platonic or general interactions.
If you can identify social project to volunteer with etc, then you have reason outside yourself to engage and interact with others.
I think finding a professional counselor can also help.
It sounds like you are at a point in your life where you realize it isn´t doing you any good to keep thinking and living like this.
And there really is no reason why you can´t try thinking and living a different way, if there is so many possibilities you are missing.