This is a true story of why you should never smoke firecrackers and people who are high and drunk shouldn't be near them.
Where I live there used to be an annual event every May called cracker night where people set off various fireworks, unlike the large scale New year fireworks displays these were mainly made up of council run community bonfires in the local park and family backyard events with the family watching the kids letting off some crackers,roman candles and flying rockets etc type of fireworks.
It was on this date that a number of my friends who because their birthdays were close together held a communal birthday party, so me and my mates were in the backyard standing around the fire smoking hash and drinking Southern Comfort, when someone gave me a firecracker about the size of a cigarette which I proceeded to hold cupped in the fingers of my left hand , at the time I had also taken out a cigarette and was holding it in my right fingers ,a few minutes later while gazing up at the stars I put the cigarette in my mouth and lit it and next thing I hear a hissing sound followed by a stinging slap across my lips and a loud bang and ringing in my left ear and a wtf did you think you were doing from my mates. it turned out that I had mistakenly tried to smoke the firecracker and if not for the quick thinking of my friend Tim slapping it away I could have been hurt .
Now about ten minutes and a few more tokes later I notice Tim heading over to the bushes to take a leak and I'm thinking thank god for Tim at least one of us has his shit together, when there's a loud bang quickly followed by Tim running up the backyard at 100mph yelling at the top of his lungs my cocks exploded my fucking cocks exploded, it turned out that the next door neighbours kids tossed a cracker over the fence that exploded at crotch height at the very moment Tim finished peeing, so much for having our shit together.
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