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curl-6 on 07 October 2020
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Mummelmann said:
curl-6 said:

Thanks man!

The way I look at it, we all get labelled anyway. I'd rather be labelled as Autistic and be understood than be labeled rude, lazy, oversensitive and annoying.

That's a great attitude. One of my first clients was undiagnosed for autism when he came to us, he had an ADHD diagnosis but we quickly saw clear signs of autism and he also showed some pretty heavy Tourettes in his mannerisms, verbal outbursts, and overall level of uncontrolled tics. But his mother refused to begin official diagnosing of her son since she was scared that he'd be stigmatized, she claimed that "it's enough with the ADHD already", as if neuropsychiatric disorders was something one either acknowledged or not (about 60% of people with autism have overlapping diagnoses, often undiagnosed). We tried explaining the sort of difficulties he could encounter and the value of psychoeducation in order to understand oneself and one's place in the world, as well as the immense stigma he would likely suffer growing into adulthood without the proper tools and/or medicine. She wouldn't listen and as far as I know, the diagnoses were never officially explored and set. He moved back home into a heavily negative symbiotic relationship with his mother, there was both physical and verbal abuse from both parties and a slew of troubling circumstances and behaviors from the mother (she was from the US and equated autism with Downs syndrome and other, similar things).

What I've seen through my years at work is that the stigma and labelling is always a lot worse when the client is unaware or lacks knowledge about themselves and they lack tools and coping strategies to deal with life. The more aware of and attuned with their disorders they become, the less labelling and stigma they experience since they can more easily find their groove and begin living on their own conditions and not solely based on the unrealistic and unfair expectations set by both themselves and the world they live in.

curl-6; you are inspirational in many ways, my ambition is to be able to instill the same sense of self-worth and insight into our kids at the home.

Thank you so much.

That's definitely been my experience too, that diagnosis and self-acceptance lead to the best outcome in life for folks on the spectrum. Once we figure out where our strengths lie and lean into that, and quit trying to fit our round selves into a square hole, we can be the best version of ourselves, instead of feeling crap about not being "normal".

And the more we can educate and raise awareness of the spectrum among others, the easier that will be for the next generation growing up on the spectrum now.

The_Liquid_Laser said:
curl-6 said:

Thank you. :)

While it depends on the person and the form of their autism, generally speaking I would say the most important thing is to figure out her Autistic strengths and passions, and concentrate on those; I was lucky enough to have parents who did this with me and pushed me to pursue my obsession with writing, which helped me to feel more positively about myself. Also if possible, helping her meet and form friendships with other Autistics her age can help her not feel alone and feel a sense of belonging.

Thanks, this sounds good.    Her passion is for drawing and we encourage that a lot.  As for meeting friends...I want to do that, but this is not a great time for it with the pandemic going on.

That's great that you encourage her strengths, sounds like you're on the right path already. :) And yeah not the best time at the moment, but once we get back to some semblance of normality, I'd highly recommend finding a social group or peer support group for young Autistics if there's anything like that in your area.

As someone who grew up without any friends who were also the spectrum, it made such a huge difference for me in my mid 20s when I finally got to develop a social circle of fellow Autistics; suddenly I didn't feel so alone any more.

Last edited by curl-6 - on 07 October 2020