Ever struggled with suicide?

[Raven]

Do you have access to some kind of remote therapy or counseling services in your area?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

Try the links above, maybe it can help you find someone to talk to at least who has some qualifications and maybe try to help you see another perspective or coping mechanisms.

There's also a free chatroom service with volunteers to chat with regarding suicide at https://www.imalive.org/

Obviously if you're in crisis, you can give the Suicide Prevention hotline a call at 1-800-273-8255

These times are unprecedented and difficult, and I think that the situation is especially harmful to anyone dealing with mental health issues. But there's no shame in reaching out and seeking assistance for your own peace of mind.