So this is obviously a different situation, but I found my wife on okcupid. I prefer online dating because it makes intentions clear and obvious. Even as a straight dude I never wanted to approach women out and about because most will not be interested (just statistically) and if they aren't interested then I've just been a mild annoyance which I hate. On something like okcupid the pretense is gone. When I was on first dates I would make my goals in life clear and it felt a lot less random. If you haven't tried that particular site I would give it a shot. Still probably get a lot of threesome requests, but maybe you could focus on sending out messages yourself rather than responding to what others send.
Edit: asking my wife (who is bi) she suggests trying to find a site specific to people looking to date women or femme people. something like Grindr for lesbians and bi women.
Yeah, that's what I think I need. I think I need a dating service that's only for women. Every dating service on the internet is now theoretically open to lesbians, but I still get mostly male "matches" everywhere I go even after specifying that I'm only interested in women. It's like the world doesn't believe me! Even when I get matched to women, I then discover that they're only looking for friends or that they're looking for a threesome hook-up with them and their guy. And then there's catfishing (guys posing as lesbians because they're sick creeps), so I mean you can't even always trust that the "women" you get matched with are actually women. In short, dating sites and their users both act as though lesbians aren't real, at least in my experience. I think if only women were allowed on a particular dating site, that make things at least a little bit easier.Last edited by Jaicee - on 23 August 2020