| Immersiveunreality said: I can relate a bit with having to deal with alzheimer in the family but not to that extend,my grandgrandmother who learned me to play carts and used to tell stories about the war got it and now her son who is my granddad got it too so i'm worried that my mother will suffer the same and that is always in the back of my mind but if it happens when the time comes i will do anything to provide her the most comfort(how little that is) she can get in that state. Bolded: Yes,and before that when she forgot who you were you can also keep in mind that she does not neccesarilly forgot the whole of you but just the current form of you at that time.In her mind she could have had memories of a younger you or even a baby or from when she was pregnant of you and because of that there is a good possibility you kept being in her heart till the end. |
It all happens gradually as if someone with Alzheimers regresses in age (mentally) until self awareness is lost. First she wouldn't believe the current versions of me and my sister were real and was adamant that we were playing tricks on her. She firmly believed we were still kids. Then later she forgot about having kids at all, then forgot about being married, then meeting my dad and all that was left was an persistent urge to go back to her birth home and asking for her (long ago deceased) mother. It doesn't happen as linearly as that, jumps back and forth in time with moments of clarity, yet in general memories disappear backwards.
Having kids myself it was interesting to see how consciousness develops. Not until 4 to 6 months after being born do babies actually recognize you. That's when they start to 'make strange'. Self awareness comes much later. Then memory still evolves to a point where early memories become incompatible with your adult brain and your earliest memories won't go further back than age 4 or later. So would there be any consciousness left without memory?
The only 'positive' (if you can call it that) of this disease is that you have plenty time to adjust and make peace. It's not sudden, the signs were there 10 years before it became a real debilitating issue. The last time my dad took my mom over to visit she still recognized me, yet no longer recognized my kids, and she didn't know she was in a different country the whole time they stayed here. Then later over the phone she assumed I was her brother talking on the phone, not really knowing who I was anymore.
I felt more sorry for my dad in the end. He actually bought a house next to the car home, moved to a different town to visit and help every day. Caring for my mother became his life even though she didn't really recognize him. However there was still some familiarity from seeing him every day.
Good luck with your mother, hopefully she gets spared this painful fate.
