Probably not gonna have kids/my own family and trying to make peace with that

[Immersiveunreality]

Hiku said:

Immersiveunreality said:

It's a dilemma to kinda want kids but know you are not the right kinda person to be having them so the most selfless decision is to give up on that dream and not have them,kinda goes against human instinct and against expectations of others close to you.

I hope he learns how to make more ''space'' to be able to deal with a normal/semi normal permanent relation with preferable someone with the same mindset,it is hard to give decent advice on the internet sadly.

My reasons for not wanting children are (probably) mainly different.
But I'm also considering what kind of world they'd be brought into. Which is a bit similar to his concern.

When there are (not uncommonly) people who would deliberately cough in the face of someone that may be immune compromised during a pandemic because that person had the 'nerve' to protect themselves and others from infection, when I feel like there shouldn't even be a single person like that on the planet, it's one of the many many other reasons that makes me think twice.

Though my primary reasons are more personal. I have no desire to have children for starters.

I have a friend that grew up in central Africa as the son of the headchief of a certain tribe, his dad had 7 wives and 40+ children and most still needed to flee war and poverty.The guy really takes it serious that i do not have children yet and he always intertwines his religion partly + a dose of traditionalism because in many regions in africa you need children as some sort of protection for when you get old and get almost no income so its a part of culture there(and insurance).

He does not really get that it is not needed to do that here but in the end i do ofcourse appreciate his concern for me.

It is hard to describe but i always had some sort of father instinct over the younger members in my family and i would protect them at any cost but as much as that same instinct gives myself an urge to have kids,i just need to apply logic to that reasoning and that is what makes me take a step back.

Bolded:Yes never commit to something so important if you think you are not ready for it or when it goes again principles,and the reasoning from the rest of your comment seems pretty thoughtfull. 

Last edited by Immersiveunreality - on 23 June 2020