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VAMatt on 23 June 2020
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Farsala said:
VAMatt said:

I came from a family of six.  My parents had those kids between the ages of 23 and 31.  I always figured I'd have a few kids in my twenties as well.  That's what I wanted.  But, I have only one infant child, and my 40th birthday is next month. 

A few years ago, I was starting to think maybe it wouldn't happen for me.  My last serious relationship (prior to my marriage) ended in 2010, when I was 30.  I went a few years without one.  I never gave up, but I figured there was a real chance that I just wasn't going to meet a woman to spend my life with, have kids with, etc. But, I eventually did meet that person. Then we weren't able to get pregnant for two years, so the thoughts of no kids kicked up again.  Eventually, that happened too.  In other words, my life didn't go according to plan, but it still worked out great. 

The same can happen for anyone, so long as you continue to stay open to the possibilities.  So, don't give up on the idea of a family if that is what you want.  You might be 50 before you get started, but it can still be just as great.  Or, maybe you'll meet the woman tomorrow.  

My father had his first kid at 23, and just now had a kid at 53. I plan on living to be 100, but I want to see my kids grow up to be at least 30s or 40, so that is my main desire for having kids early. I also want many kids, but I don't want one when I am old and might die before they can support themselves. So while the hope for children is still strong, it is the still healthy me part that isn't going as strong, the older I get. It is just my responsibility to be as healthy as I can I suppose.

Edit: And I am sure you are well aware by now, but one reason it could have been so difficult to have a child is due to decreased fertility with age. Not only that but as the quality of the sperm decreases with age, the more likely a weaker sperm meets the egg and birth defects or worse happen. I wish I was rich enough to freeze my sperm, so that it is less risky in the future for my partner.

Well, it is 2020, and there are many ways to "have" a child.  There are lots of options, so the door never really closes unless we shut it.