The James Bond Rewatch: Current Movie - SPECTRE

[Doc755]

Sigh. Die Another Day, what were they thinking? Coming on the fortieth anniversary of the film franchise and the fiftieth anniversary of the James Bond character, DAD was supposed to be a celebration of what came before and a catapult into an even brighter future. Instead we got a hot mess of a film that shows the producers have no idea about what works with this series and the franchise quickly deciding to abandon all that came before in the next installment. Congratulations on a job . . . done?

At the very least you could say DAD is entertaining on a train-wreck rubber necking level where you just cannot look away. That at least gives it a step up from its predecessor, The World is Not Enough. It’s hard to find anything redeeming especially since anything that does make you smile is quickly buried under a bunch of bad jokes and horrible CGI. Remember in the 80s when we had all that great physical stunt work? Well, screw that! We can just put Pierce Brosnan in front of a green screen with the best VFX money can buy . . . for a Canadian television series.

Just stop. Stop this nonsense. Why is Bond surfing into North Korea? How would Bond know who was working with the general’s son if that person is a mole in MI6? If he broke and was the one leaking such great classified material, why would NK trade him for some random terrorist? How can he stop his own heart? How do you destroy someone’s bone marrow to rewrite their DNA? Wouldn’t that kill them? Why is there a “Your mama” in a Bond film? Does Halle Berry even know what film she’s in? What is Graves even wearing in the finale? Ahhhh!

Ok, I will admit to having a bit more fun with this review because it’s just entirely impossible to take this film seriously. What should be a celebration of a franchise is more a reminder of better days gone by and merely the superficial sheen of a Bond film without anything resembling the substance that made the superior films truly great. Should we do a retread of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service or From Russia with Love? Pfft. Why pick those when we can re-do (checks notes for worst Bond film) Diamonds are Forever?

The beginning has some actual promise. Taking a larger than life character like Bond and bringing him down by having him captured and tortured is a bold choice. It reminded me of Superman II when Clark Kent is temporarily without his powers and involved in a brutal fight. It was hard to watch to see someone so untouchable brought so low and it makes his return to superhero status so much more powerful. Here, they do NOTHING with it. The uncomfortable scenes of torture are used as music video material for the truly horrible theme song. And once Bond gets a shave and a haircut? He’s perfectly fine. No lasting effects to fourteen months of torture. The transition of Bond from a human character capable of extraordinary feats to an unrealistic action hero who never suffers consequences is complete.

As others have said, the film is strongest in the middle when Bond returns to London. The sword fight at Blades has always been a favorite sequence of mine. It does get a little over the top and there is some digital trickery is speeding up the movements but it’s a well choreographed sequence without seeming too manufactured. And it’s nice to have a good number of medium shots with Brosnan clearly doing the swordplay instead of an obvious stunt double. The Easter eggs in Q’s workshop are also a delight as is John Cleese who (when not being forced to be the butt of the jokes) shows he can be just as good a foil to 007 as the dearly departed Desmond Llewelyn. It’s a shame Cleese was not given more time to develop his version of Q before the reboot but at least he goes out on a high note.

I’m going to give Die Another Day 3/10. I was thinking a 4 for awhile but it’s clearly a whole level under the second worst I had to push it down more. It’s disappointing that this is Brosnan’s swan song as he deserved so much better. Some of the location work is gorgeous such as Spain substituting for Cuba. The less said about Samantha Bond’s Moneypenny’s exit from the series, the better. She was so strong in her debut in GoldenEye and is reduced to banging a virtual reality Bond. Luckily Dame Judi Dench will stick around for the Craig films as she continues to be a highlight of the modern era even if she’s written a little inconsistently here and there. The true tragedy of DAD however is that it was so bad that the next film was decided to be a reboot thereby ejecting so much from the franchise that was great and for that, this film certainly should carry great disdain.

Current Rankings:
1) On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
2) From Russia with Love
3) Goldfinger
4) For Your Eyes Only
5) The Living Daylights
6) The Spy Who Loved Me
7) GoldenEye
8) Thunderball
9) Dr. No
10) Licence to Kill
11) Octopussy
12) Live and Let Die
13) Tomorrow Never Dies
14) You Only Live Twice
15) The World is Not Enough
16) The Man with the Golden Gun
17) A View to a Kill
18) Moonraker
19) Diamonds are Forever
20) Die Another Day