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curl-6 on 05 March 2020
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Immersiveunreality said:
curl-6 said:

Thanks man. And yeah, my own mind is definitely my worst enemy too. I actually find I'm fine with my Autism, it's more the OCD that fucks me up, it just makes little things so terrifying and overwhelming sometimes. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the right medication help though. 

Wishing you all the best mate, and thank you. I try to remember that we're lucky to live at a time where medicine has come so far, treatment is just so much more effective than even a few decades ago, in my lifetime.

I would be fine with my autism if i was not forced into a certain lifestyle and social interactions that are not of my choosing just to sustain myself and i have to shedule everything i do and make social sacrifices just to maintain a seminormal lifestyle,yeah treatment now is so much better and seeing how my sisters kid that is also an autist does get support does make me happy for those kids.

I myself never got support as a small kid and later on school was not kind to me, as an autist i was good at observing people and knowing how to act being social but badly at it whenever being stressed out and to top that of i was the smallest kid in the class and also the only one that looked like a foreigner in a fully white school.

That did develop into an extremely dark/bad self imprinted image of the world,crying myself to sleep for years and all that depression caused me to develop different personalities of myself as a way to survive without killing myself.

The first time i was shizophrenic it was like having a dream and i woke up on the bus going home while being absolutely confused about what i did before that and to this day i'm so confused about it,now i hope that never happens again because it broke me.

As of today i'm slowly still crawling up and the next step should be getting the right medication to block to flow of information going to my brains,so that is the plan for this year.

I do look up to you(and i'm happy to not always feel alone with my way of thinking)

I forget the exact quote but there's a famous saying about Autism; that Autistics don't suffer from Autism, we suffer from society's attitude towards Autism.

I'm sorry to hear you had a really rough time growing up; I did too, I wasn't diagnosed until I was 19 so I got no support in school either, also developed a very negative view of myself and the world. I really do wish you all the best, you seem like really great person and the fact that you got through all that shows you're also a very strong person. I enjoy your contributions here on VGC and it's nice to know another Autistic on here.