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Somebody recently called me a hipster on the internet. The accusation struck me as odd because I'm 37 years old and not exactly fashion-conscious, but the more research I've done on the term, the more I've come to fear that it may actually fit me nonetheless.

My Symptoms of Hipsterism:

-I own a record player.
-I often wear flannel overshirts.
-I also often buy second-hand.
-I like silent films.
-I prefer craft beer and indie-everything, more or less.
-I like Austin, Texas and have tried ghost pepper chips.
-I'm supposedly ironic and snarky.
-I have a smug appreciation of art games, B-media, and "those unscripted moments" in life.
-I've considered voting for Andrew Yang.

On the positive side tho, I haven't yet begun to gentrify urban America by moving into one of those little micro houses with barely enough room for movement; I don't have to move to find squalor that giant corporations avoid for fear of losing money to live in.

In all seriousness, I've never actually heard anyone call themselves a hipster before. It seems to be a term that people impose on people who like flawed and/or broken things basically. For example, I like record players because of the crackly sound they make. They're not perfect. There's just something human about that. We live in an age of steadily increasing automation where everything is getting crisper, cleaner, more technically flawless...more superficial and corporate. Helicopter parents schedule normal lives out of their kids so they can focus more or less exclusively on doing good in school and such because anything less than straight As is straight Fs. Anxiety and depression are on the rise because people are expected to be perfect and are human instead. It can lead one to yearn for something different; to relate to things that are flawed and to people who are broken.

So anyway, how do I remedy this problematic image I fear I'm conveying? Anyone? Teach me the ways of the sellout!

Last edited by Jaicee - on 08 December 2019